Baby updates

I can't believe it has been soooo long since I posted any kind of update. I imagine I lost many blog followers! lol! Life is just so busy and hectic these days. I have every intention of updating the blog, as well as their baby books, but some how it just never happens. I actually began this blog with scrapbooking in mind and I haven't scrapbooked a single picture of Tanner, which means no scrapbooking in 19 months!!

Yes, Tanner is over 19 months now. It seems to hard to believe. I look at him almost every day and wonder where my lil' preemie baby went. He is so big now and resembles a little boy way more than a baby. He weighs 29 lbs and has all teeth including the canines which are almost completely in now. He can point to his eyes, ears, mouth, teeth, hair, hands, fingers, feet, toes, and belly. He is talking more and more saying short phrases like: "I don't know" or "Help me", in addition to single words like: no, ball, up, bye, mama, dada, baby, uh oh, oh no, shoe, hi, boo, woof, yea for yes, hot (which he whispers), night night, and morning which he greets me with when I open his door of a morning. He will eat just about anything we put in front of him and mainly eats what we eat now. Although, he gets way more pudding, Jello, and mandarin oranges than I eat! There for awhile, he used sign language for "more," but I only see that every once in a while here lately.

Tanner has taken more of a liking to Kinsey finally. It concerns him when she cries. Of a morning, if he hasn't seen her within about ten minutes of getting up, he will say, "Baby??" He has even given her a kiss a couple of times.

Little Miss Kinsey is really getting to be more fun! She smiles and even giggles some! She had her 4-month well-baby appointment today even though we are 20 days past 4 months. She was quite the trooper with her shots and stopped crying within 20 seconds. She weighs 15.2 lbs and that is in the 80th percentile. She fell into the 90th percentile on height and 70th on head circumference. She can roll from belly to back and possibly vice versa. She doesn't get as much floor time as Tanner did because he is always on the loose and cannot be trusted with her on the floor. She DOES have a tooth coming in (bottom right) which seems a little early. We can now start her on orange and yellow baby foods, in addition to the rice cereal she is already attempting. She likes to hang out in an upright position, and has good neck control, but without the trunk control it is a little limiting. She has developed some mild version of eczema and we will begin putting Aquaphor on her cheeks so they don't look so "windburned."

Christmas was fun with both of them, but I imagine next year will be even better. Tanner was scared of Santa! I'm still debating how I want to handle the whole "Santa" thing considering gift-giving, but I have a year to think about it!

Tobin and I are doing well considering the stress that goes along with two under the age of 19 months and 15 months apart. We have our moments, but luckily our solid relationship gets us through the rough moments. Having two that are teething, in diapers, and both needing you for just about everything is quite trying on one's nerves and patience. I'm thankful to live near family!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Autumn Fun in a local Cemetary

Who knew one could have so much fun in a cemetery? It was such a beautiful day, so my aunt called and invited us to go look at some fall color. What a great idea! Kinsey wasn't too keen on the idea, but Tanner had a blast!
School has kept me busy in the daytime and my kids have kept me busy all night long. I'd like to say that I get good rest throughout the night, but that wouldn't be true. Kinsey wakes me up a couple of times still. She doesn't seem to like her bassinet unless we heat up the blankets! She is high maintenance for sure. She had a health scare this past week too. She is all better except for some congestion. They tested her blood and urine and took a chest x-ray and she was negative for RSV, influenza, and swine flu. Thank God! We assume it was just a viral issue and will work itself out.
My sister and her two boys were in town all week this past week. I will blog about that soon and upload some pics. My time is so limited for blogging, even though I really want my life documented on here for the kids some day.

Last week of maternity leave

I thought this was a creative gift idea! We received this from some of Tobin's customers.

Just a quick update while both babies are asleep!
Tanner is doing great! He is really turning into the funniest little character! He seems to have adjusted to his sister being around and even checks on her from time to time. He loves to play in her room and would especially like to hang in her crib as shown.
Kinsey is doing well. Last night she slept for four hours straight without waking up! WhoooHooo! She has been a happy baby overall and only seems to fuss when hungry. She does; however, prefer the real thing as opposed to a bottle, so this will be quite the learning curve when I go back to work. She hasn't taken to the binkie quite yet either, so next week may be tough! I am OK with her not wanting a binkie, but she likes to use me as a pacifier and that simply cannot continue. I am worried about how I will pump while at school since I have six classes straight, and how Kinsey will do without me. I wish money wasn't the driving the decision, but I must return to teaching on September 29th. Tobin's work schedule changed just a little bit which will allow him to help me get ready in the morning and out the door with both babies and all of their stuff, plus mine. I may have to get up at 4:45 am in order to leave the house by 6:30, but I've gotta do what I've gotta do to get to work on time! Tanner, for one, is used to sleeping in, so this will be an adjustment on many levels. I sure wish I could stay home with my babies. I have really enjoyed my time with them, even though it was frustrating and tough at times. It will break my heart to leave them on Tuesday morning for sure

Kinsey's 1st road trip was this past weekend. We attended Tobin's family reunion about three hours from here. That was also Tanner's 1st road trip last year! I will blog about that soon and attach pictures of our events. It was a quick, but family-filled weekend!

My little boy

Tanner is developing into quite the entertainer with his quirky expressions and silly faces. To get the full effect, click on the picture to enlarge the photo collage.

Another health update

As I've mentioned, at two weeks old, Kinsey's doctor noticed that her breathing was irregular at times and her chest/belly would rise and fall in a way that seemed abnormal. It didn't happen all the time and I couldn't determine if it was related to any certain time of day, fully belly, or any other pattern. The x-ray showed nothing and the doctor decided it must still be transitional breathing. Well, at one month old, she was still doing it. I called and made the doctor aware of that and she decided to make Kinsey an appointment with a cardiologist the very next day.

Poor lil' girl was hooked up to an EKG and then she had an echocardiogram. The doctor listened to her heart, her head, her back, and belly. He decided that she DID have exaggerated breathing, but it was NOT related to anything vascular. He checked for an enlarged heart, murmurs, all four chambers, valves, aorta...everything checked out fine. So that is excellent news, but still leaves us with the question of. "What is it then?" His recommendation was that if she is still doing this one month from now, then we need to see a pulmonologist for further testing. Since it doesn't seem to bother her, we're hoping she just grows out of this.

We did find out that baby girl now weighs 9 lbs and 11 ounces!!!

Kinsey's nursery

In keeping with the "camo" theme of this family, Little Miss Kinsey's room ended up being a little more pink that I planned or wanted. I still like it though and hope she does too someday.

The letters are great, aren't they? My sister, Tricia, bought and painted these simply using the pattern on the bedding set. Then she hung them with the 'baby girl' ribbon. You would think that they came custom with the bedding! I just love them!

The awesome antique piece is a 5th generation-Elliott-wardrobe that most recently belonged to Tobin's maternal grandmother. Tobin's mom painted it white and his dad reinforced it and put two bars inside on which to hang clothing, rather than one. So far, Tanner finds this piece to be a great place to play! He opens the door and drops toys inside which fall to the carpet and he digs them out from underneath.

The crib belonged to my sister and Kinsey's cousin Griffin used it in Alabama. The changing table on the end is handy and the drawers beneath that are great for storage.

My mom has had the rocker for years and Tobin's mom found the dresser at a garage sale!

Last, but not least, TED the bear is a gift from Aunt Cindy. Tanner has been identifying body parts on the bear and himself as we learn eyes, ears, nose...Kinsey just finds Ted comfy!

Big T and Little K's health updates

When we left the hospital, Kinsey had dropped from 7 lbs 9 oz down to 7 lbs 3 oz. That is typical and nothing to worry about. Even though they brought her to my room every three hours, and she nursed like a champ for 15 minutes on each side, my milk had not come in. Everything else checked out fine with the pediatrician's evaluation. She noted the "stork bites" on her eyelids and the "angry mark" above the bridge of her nose. Big brother had the exact same birth mark between his eyebrows and it went away before he was one. Overall, the doctor said she was long, petite, and very healthy.

Her 1st pediatrician appointment was 48 hours after leaving the hospital. Her weight was down to 6 lbs 15 oz and the doctor wasn't necessarily worried, but hoped that turned around soon.

The scary part of that visit was that she did send us directly to a blood draw due to Kinsey's coloring. I hadn't personally noticed it, but Daddy had. Her doctor suspected jaundice. On a bilirubin scale of ten, Kinsey had 11.2. Therefore, we just needed to put her in the natural sunlight, through a window or door, for ten minutes on each side. We did this for two days.

Her next appointment was at two weeks. Kinsey is in the 75% for length, but only 25th percentile for weight. We discussed a lot of things, but the main concern was the fact that you could visibly see her chest rise and fall when she was lying on her back. With everything that I had seen Tanner go through, this didn't alarm me. The doctor, however, sent her straight over to have a chest x-ray! She didn't voice it at the time, but they were looking for an enlarged heart, which would lead to congestive heart failure, or a heart murmur. Neither were found. So, the doctor said even though it is very uncommon, she might still be experiencing transitional breathing or getting used to oxygenated air. We were told to keep an eye on her and if anything changed, race her to the ER!!! Good grief, that ought to help me sleep at night!!! UGH!

Well, so far, so good, but she still had the rising and falling of her chest area when she breathes. Not all the time, but a lot. She has recently developed some baby acne on her lil' cheeks. The nurse said it was common around 4-5 weeks and was caused by the fluctuation of maternal hormones. She said we could try polysporin and if that didn't work, then mix it with hydrocortizone, but only twice per day or it might clog up the pores. Can you believe she'll be one month old tomorrow????

Tanner is doing just fine and adjusting more and more to "baby." His personality is really getting so cute and funny! He also had an appointment at the same time with the same pediatrician as Kinsey. His height was 32" and weight almost 26 lbs. This was an appointment that I had dreaded for 15 months. He had several immunizations that day, but there was one that I had prayed about. I even prayed when they put the needle in his lil' thigh. He got his MMR shot. I just prayed that God would allow it to only help him and not cause anything negative in his body now or in the future.

Tanner meets Kinsey

I have so much to get caught up on concerning blogging, but so little time with two free hands with which to do so!

Our hospital stay was so very different this time. First of all, Kinsey was with us the whole time we were in Labor and Delivery. She even nursed for 30 minutes while there! Delivery was WAY more painful with her. I can only assume that it was because she was 2.5 pounds heavier and three inches longer. Once we got a room, she was brought to me every three hours for nursing 15 minutes on each side. Tanner never was in my hospital room. Friends and family that visited were able to not only see her, but hold her. That was nice since only two visitors were allowed, per day, to see Tanner in the NICU. I had to have two shots this time before I left the hospital with her. One was the MMR shot that they give 15 month old babies. The other was a combo immunization for diphtheria, tetanus, and pertussis (whooping cough).

On the second day in the hospital, Tobin brought Tanner up to meet his new baby sister. We wanted it to be just family for this special occasion. It did not go as planned. Tanner did not want to meet her and proceeded to throw a pretty good fit. I have no idea if babies Tanner's age can experience a jealousy, but that was exactly what it appeared to be. He would barely even look at her and cried huge, crocodile tears. It was heart-breaking. Ever since then, I have made it a mission of mine to make sure he does not feel "second" in any way. NO one is taking his place in my heart!

Once we were home with our new baby girl, Tanner showed very little curiosity or interest in her for about two days. Then, for whatever reason, he wandered over to her Pack n Play and peered over the edge. He did this a few more times in the next couple of days. He even seemed a little frustrated that he couldn't get an eyeball on her when she was up in her crib. Every time he would walk into our bedroom, he would beeline it to the bassinet and peer over the edge. Progress!

In the next day or so, I found "gifts" in the bassinet or the Pack n Play. He had dropped one of his favorite kitchen toys, the lid to the blender, down into the bassinet!!! Luckily she wasn't in there as it might have done a real number on her! Then, I found a book in the Pack n Play. He had dropped it in there for her, I presume! Very sweet, but potentially dangerous!

He now follows me into her room when I change her diaper and checks on her periodically throughout the day. He knows the word "baby" and has tried to say it. When she cries, he either completely disregards it, or shows concern; but, he does NOT join in on the crying anymore. He also stares at her with interest when she is in her car seat next to him in the truck. I have seen him try to touch her foot and pat her belly. He will probably be too rough with her at first and we'll have to teach him the word "gentle" for sure!

He is such a happy kid that I knew he would come around. It was just hard to watch him be so sad at the hospital.

Introducing Miss Kinsey Anne...

After two trips to Labor and Delivery within two hours, I was finally admitted and dilated to seven cm. I simply could not have imagined them sending me home in the kind of pain I was experiencing. The first time they sent me home, I was dilated to a 3-4 and having contractions every 5-8 minutes, but that wasn't often enough! They said to go home and walk around the block or wander around Wal-Mart!! After leaviing, we recorded about 15 more contractions ranging from nine to two minutes apart. It hurt everywhere, but mostly back labor. The second time we arrived at L&D, which was a little after 7pm, a shift change had occured, so I had to fill out paperwork again, even though I was crying and had been there about an hour and a half ago! They didn't waste any time at this visit. I received my epidural within an hour of arriving and it worked like a charm. I say that because I couldn't feel the contractions. Things moved rather quicly at first, then stalled out. My water wouldn't break, so he had to break it himself. After that, I could feel the pressure and pain of her head moving into the birth canal. Once I was at ten centimeters, it was 34 minutes of hard labor. It was WAAAAY worse than delivering Tanner. I truly hope I didn't scare anyone in the L&D room next to me.

Brahm's Lullaby played throughout the hospital at 11:34pm on August 9th, 2009. Kinsey was considered full term since she was born at 37 weeks, 4 days. She was 21 inches long (3' longer than Tanner) and weighed 7 lbs. 9 oz. (Tanner was 5 lbs, 2 oz). She looks an awful lot like Tanner did at that age...dark brown hair and skinny little legs. Her eyebrows are blonde, no telling what her hair will end up looking like. She was able to be in the hospital room with us whenever we wanted and nursed for 30 minutes before we ever left Labor and Delivery. She lost six ounces before we left the hospital and then continued to lose a little more. At her weight check appointment, she was down to 6 lbs. 15 oz and the doctor felt like she was jaundiced. We had to immediately go for a blood draw. Long story made shorter, she had to sun-bathe for ten minutes on each side for two days and the problem was solved. She was just barely over the mark on the bilirubin count. She has been sleeping for 3-4 hours at a time and gets hiccups just as often outside as she did inside!! Strange thing is it is generally around the same time of day as well!!

As far as my condition goes, I have had a more difficult time healing with this one. I had some serious pains as my uterus moved back into place, pain throughout the pelvis area, some back pain, and lots of stinging pain around the episiotomy area.
One stitch came out and I have since found out that it is too late to correct that, so it has to grow back together on it's own. Quite painful to say the least. Luckily, Tobin was able to take off fourteen days!

Tanner did not enjoy meeting his new sibling, but has since warmed up more and more each day. He cried and wouldn't look at her while at the hospital. For the first couple of days, he ran away from me if I was holding the enemy once at home. Now, he will peer into her crib or peek into the bassinet to catch a glimpse of her. I caught him trying to touch her little foot once too. I even peeled back some of her bedding so he could see up into her crib. He often sees me holding her on the Boppy, so whenever he thinks of it, he will carry the Boppy over to me and put it on my lap! Hopefully, he never decides to drop it into her Bassinet while she is sleeping. If I am nursing her on the couch, he chooses that time to romp around on the pillows behind me. I think he will develop into a wonderful big brother and protector eventually, but for now, he may very well unintentionally, and with a kind heart, end up being her worse enemy!

Week 36 tomorrow

Tanner has taken a liking to patting my belly. He gets a little rough and excited, but he honestly has no clue why that isn't a good thing. He doesn't know his sissy is in there or that it hurts mommy when he pats too hard! But, he sure knows where mommy's belly is, as it is hard to miss!!

I had my regular weekly OB appt. yesterday and my high risk appt. today. The pelvic check yesterday showed no new information, other than he could feel her head. I am no more dilated or effaced than I was eight weeks ago. The fetal monitor showed normal activity and heart rate on Kinsey's part.

Today's appointment was the one that no one thought I'd need! Everyone thought we'd have a baby by now! However, the ultrasound showed our "chipmunk-cheeked" little girl to be doing just fine. There is still plenty of fluid around her and she seems to enjoy using my bladder as a cushy little pillow, much to my dismay. Getting a head measurement was quite difficult due to the fact the she dropped this past Sunday night. I knew exactly when it happened around 3am! Talk about painful...I cried for an hour and a half!! Tobin actually had to help me walk to the bathroom because it hurt too badly to walk and I could hardly support my own body weight. Anyway, they measured her at approximately 6 lbs and 14 ounces today!! YIKES!! Tanner was only 5 lbs and 1 oz, so I am in new territory for all sorts of reasons.

My sister and nephews are in town from Alabama. When the trip was planned, we all thought there was an excellent chance that Melody would get to meet her new little niece! Now, all signs point to the fact that Mel may have to wait until her next trip in October to meet her. That just saddens me and kind of stresses me out, but this is all on God's timeline and she is honestly better off staying put, even thought I would nothing more than to meet her too AND get my body back. Every single time I shift my body weight I just wait for my water to break. I am NOT used to these pains that occur in the last month!!! I have contractions all the time, but nothing regular enough to warrant a trip to Labor & Delivery. Due to bed rest, I had lost weight and lost all swelling. Now that bed rest is tapering down, that is all reversing!! I say YUCK to all of that!!

Family gathering with the Elliotts

This past weekend we had a nice, but short visit with Tobin's brother and family. Hunter is six years old now and much bigger. He even said the family prayer before dinner which I thought was great. I can't wait until Tanner can do that! Hunter is really good with Tanner and helps out in any way he can. He likes to carry stuff for us, and seemed to really enjoy pushing him in the stroller and feeding/sharing snacks with him. Hunter also had a bubble maker and Tanner thought that was quite funny. It was difficult to get a good pic of both Tanner smiling and the bubbles in the pic! As with most kids, Tanner watches everything Hunter does. I'm sure they'll be good pals when they get older and Tanner can actually talk with him.

On a more recent note, last night was THE WORST for contractions and pain thus far. The contractions were about 8 minutes apart, but only lasted about 30 minutes. Then, it was just constant pain. I literally thought I was going to have to be carried to the car! I could hardly walk and the pain was atrocious! I was already running things through my mind as who was going to come stay with Tanner, and who was going to meet us at the hospital, and where is my camera, are the batteries charged still, and is everything in the hospital bag? All things I should take care of and confirm today!!

My mom leaves this coming Monday to fly to Alabama and bring my sister and nephews home. They will be here for a week. I am really hoping Kinsey arrives because Mel and boys will not return until October. I feel that Kinsey will be OK to come early. I also know i n my heart that God has a plan to keep her in as long as she needs to be, so it is a real emotional conflict for me!

Tobin's dad is also battling some issues. He has a triple-bypass scheduled for this Monday, but that has been delayed due to an abscessed tooth that required emergency root canal! The dentist has to release him before they can reschedule the surgery. I sure hope Kinsey comes at the best time for our family to deal with everything going on!

She's still not here...

I went to the OB doc yesterday and it was all good news. They initially wanted to check me for dilation/effacement, but I wasn't so into the idea. That is some cruel and unusual pain I'm telling you. As it turns out, they ended up hooking me up to a fetal monitor and then doing another ultrasound, mostly 3-D, to check fetal stress and amniotic fluids, respectively. Kinsey wasn't under any stress and I only had one random, minor contraction. The fluid surrounding her was in abundance, so the doctor said all was well. She will be considered full term in two weeks since 37-40 weeks is considered full term. The fact that she's a girl and farther along in development, plus the fact that I had the two steroid shots, makes me feel much more comfortable about her arrival from this point forward. Oh, she still has big lips, but also seems to have Tobin's chin. Definitely not mine, as her chin has a little indent-like dimple under her bottom lip. Cute.

My belly feels solid, like she's out of room. I wouldn't say as hard as concrete, but close. There is now pain with every step, mostly in the pelvic area, but my back is starting to hurt as well. Rolling over in the night is quite the process. I've gotta remember to grab the body pillow and bring it with me and not get tangled up in the sheets, but still inch by inch I have to do a 180 to the other hip. Both hips and shoulders are bruised and I wake up needing Tylenol at least a couple of times in the night. That is in addition to the 4-6 bathroom trips. Geesh! In the morning, I feel much better than in the evening.
Tanner is doing very well. He is walking all over the place! We recently tried shoes on him and it was like learning to walk all over again. He absolutely wanted them off of his feet. He would lift up his little feet really high to walk too! SO cute! He is such a laid back kid. You'd think he would have some kind of problem or meltdown being with different family members and friends every day, but he just goes with the flow and plays like usual. He has taken a liking to water for sure. He likes to play in the hose and hang in the swimming pool. He doesn't squeal and go crazy, just smiles and chills out. He is soooo much like his father!

34 weeks tomorrow!

Well, this was THE goal. Each day on top of 34 weeks is three days NOT in the NICU. I have managed to keep her inside for six weeks beyond what we originally thought back on June 4th when my body decided to go into labor. Tomorrow, I am to stop the medication that prevents contractions, which essentially means I may have more pain and the contractions may return.
I can have more freedom outside of lying in bed all the time; however, I am supposed to ease into it since I have lost a lot of stamina. I have lost weight overall and have only gained 23 pounds thus far in this pregnancy. I gained 32 with Tanner and we have already passed the point of when he would have been born. So, Kinsey wins the contest of who stayed inside longer!

This is a picture of Tanner enjoying some spaghetti noodles with Papa.

It's all about the carbs!

Well, as of this past Tuesday, when I emailed in my blood-glucose numbers, none of them were above the target range. Things have changed a little since then...not horribly, but I have been above my target range 4 times.

I think I know why on three of my readings. I had blueberries on my cereal at my bedtime snack two nights in a row. That shot my morning/fasting number over 90, just by one or two. Then, on Thursday, I was STARVING, yet I had already eaten my breakfast and my morning snack, and it wasn't time for lunch yet. I have to check my blood and eat my breakfast eight hours after my bedtime snack. That's a problem. It usually falls between 5-6am!! So anyway, I decided to eat a peach. Sounds healthy enough. At lunchtime, I had my normal diabetic menu, but chose a plum for my lunch fruit. Well, two hours later, my sugars were 133 and the limit is 120. That darn peach did it to me!!! Then, my reading after dinner last night was over the limit, and for that I have no answer.

This diet is nothing like Weight Watchers or anything else. You don't look at what I've always trained myself to look at, like fats or calories. It's all about the carbs. So, I emailed the registered dietitian and she said that I should not eat fruit when I need more calories, due to the natural sugars I suppose. Here is her response:

"If you need a second snack or a little more food at one time or another, try eating more vegetables instead (cucumber slices, tomato slices, carrots) or a little more protein or fat (cottage cheese, a slice of cheese, celery and PB, a few nuts, etc.). Those will help fill you up but won’t really affect your blood sugars."

This past Thursday was 33 weeks. This coming Thursday is when bed rest ends and I can stop taking the Terbutaline every four hours. This Sunday represents the equivalent amount of time that Tanner was in the womb.

Overall, I'm hanging in there...just a little frustration here and there. Kinsey is doing well according to my OB. I would guess her to be closer to the 5 1/2 pound mark. The new nursery is coming along very nicely. Pics coming soon...

Finally! Some good news!

• Hello all! Just a brief update on my status with my perinatologist, or high-risk doctor:
  
  My cervical measurements are still around 3cm, believe it or not; therefore, the doctor said we are "out of the woods" and she does not need to see me for...get this...FOUR WEEKS!!

Kinsey is now in the 70% on size, weighing in at a whopping 5 lbs 1 oz!!! That is one ounce shy of what Tanner weighed at birth!

Two more weeks of Terbutaline (to slow down uterine contractions) and bed rest. Then, I am released to do whatever I want and just let nature take it's course. That does not necessarily mean no NICU time for Kinsey.

I will still see my regular OB weekly and remain on the diabetic diet until delivery. Then, I can alter the diet however I see fit, but will still need my blood sugars checked six weeks post-pardum. If one is to develop Type II diabetes, she said it will happen within 10-12 years after giving birth.

My doctor also told me that this is nothing I caused. That made me feel better! I just happen to be in the 7% of women that develop gestational diabetes. She said that the "offending organ" was the placenta. The hormones released from the placenta and the ones released from the pancreas were not in sync. So, Kinsey was likely having to make a lot of insulin since my placenta was essentially causing her to live in a candy store, so to speak. Hopefully, there is time to get this under control before she arrives so that she does not have blood-sugar issues at birth.

So, this is what it's come to...

Yes, I'm depressed and frustrated. Out of the four blood tests ran on me Saturday morning, I passed two and failed two. Of the two failing ones, I was right on the edge on one and 4 points over on the other. I am going to write this post as honestly as I can, so if you're in a good mood, you may not want to be brought down by this posting! I do want to remember all of my feelings throughout this pregnancy, so here goes.

My gestational diabetes class was very educational, but also very overwhelming. There is a lot of carbohydrate counting involved in the meal planning. I was given a meal plan lined out by how many "carb choices" I am allowed (including milk, fruit, and starches), as well as how many servings of fat and ounces of meat. It doesn't matter what the calories or sugars say on the label, just total carbs. Nothing goes into my mouth without being written down for accountability and reviewed by the dietitian. I am limited to 1900 calories per day, consumed via three meals and three snacks. That's it. Nothing else.

Now, first thing of a morning I have to measure my blood sugars with my new One Touch monitor. This gives me the "fasting" reading. Then, I have my breakfast and measure by blood sugars again two hours later. Breakfast consisted of 8oz of low fat yogurt, NOT the big bowl of cereal I usually eat. After I poke myself with a lancet needle and squeeze out the blood, I have to touch the droplet with a test strip and let the machine do the reading, then record it in a log book. Of course, if I don't use the machine correctly or not enough blood comes out, I get to repeat the process and inject myself again. So far, this has occurred 2 out of 3 times. Lovely. Once that process has been accomplished, I get to eat my a.m. snack, which today consisted of one cup of fat free milk and one TBSP of reduced calorie peanut butter. I will say that I made that peanut butter last 15 minutes!!! I get a decent lunch and a good-sized dinner, taking my blood sugar measurement two hours after both of those meals. Then, a bedtime snack consisting of only one carb. A carb choice is anything that has less that 19 carbohydrates per serving on the label. So, prepared meals are not really on my agenda, at least for this first week. I wouldn't have a clue how to record all this data if there wasn't a label, and this is stressful enough as it is. This does indeed make me sad because there are many good friends and church people that are wanting to bring us meals during this time, but I just don't see a way of logging the data. I also do not want to cheat because that backfires on me and my baby. As I've said before, I cannot fathom giving birth to a large baby.

Now, I'm not saying that this isn't "do-able," and I'm sure I'll get the hang of it. I also realize that this too shall pass and I may not have to do this for very long. However, when you've been on bed rest for 28 days; your emotions are all over the place hormonally; you're bored, vertically challenged,and borderline depressed; you're trying to remember if it is time to take your meds to prevent contractions; you're trying to schedule who is watching your son, on what days, and who is dropping off and picking him up; keeping hydrated (dehydration causes contractions and higher blood sugars); and you tack on this regimented meal planning and documentation...on top of the adjustment of being hungry because you were obviously eating too much before now; AND you have to poke yourself with a needle four times per day.....it tends to make one a tad irritable and cranky. I spent a good 30 minutes just bawling this morning. That actually helped.

I have always been the type that gets irritable when I am hungry. I need to plan out different options for meals that have the correct amounts of what is allowed in each category, so it is not so stressful when it is time to eat. Guess I have plenty of time to do that....

My motto: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Repeat. Repeat.

4 days shy of 32 weeks

I received my blood work results late on Friday. They showed abnormal, which meant that I had to do the 4-5 hour blood draw again. My appointment was made for Saturday morning at 7:30. My step-dad took me and stayed with me through the pre-admin and the first blood draw. The triage nurse had apparently forgotten to write on my order that I needed a bed and an orderly to wheel me back n forth to the laboratory! So, I ended up lying on a gurney with no side rails, in the only room they have for blood draws, for close to 4.5 hours. I just looked the other way as people came in and out to have their blood drawn. Since I wouldn't know the results until Monday, I decided to just watch my carbs and sugars until then.

Well, today is Monday and it didn't bring any good news either. I called my doctor's nurse early this morning and found out that I do, indeed, have gestational diabetes. The easiest way to quantify it is to say that a 154 means no GD, and a 155 is the lowest number you can have to receive the diagnosis. Lucky me; I have a 155. Soooo, I have to attend a 2.5 hour course tomorrow at the Diabetes Center and meet with a nutritionist about what to eat and what not to eat. I have requested a good ole' gurney, but they are checking into that possibility. The worst part is that they have to train me to check my own blood-sugars. I'm pretty sure this might involve a needle of some kind which is enough to send me over the edge! To say that I do not like to give blood, see my own blood, or be poked with a needle is just a HUGE understatement.

Overall, I am trying to stay positive and realize that it wouldn't hurt me to learn how to keep my sweet tooth in check. Maybe if I detox from sugar, I won't crave it as much? The main things that worry me are that Kinsey will be humongous by the time I deliver and that the diabetes will not go away after I give birth to her. Those are my prayer requests.

31 weeks + one day

Tuesday was my second ultrasound with my regular OB (more like the 10th one altogether), my 2nd Glucola test, and another regular OB appt! I have to play the waiting game with the blood sugar results, but the ultrasound went well. I ONLY ate protein for breakfast and lunch...3 eggs and a boiled chicken breast with ranch dressing, so if that doesn't do it, then maybe we do have a problem! I'll find out later on today, I hope.

Even though the machines at my high risk doctor's office are better (and you don't have to drink water), they don't have the 3-D capability. I received six 3-D images today and she stayed in 3-D mode 75% of the time. My aunt and I saw Kinsey blink, and open and close her mouth several times. Her nose, unfortunately, looks like my genetics (grrrr) and her lips appear to be from Angelina Jolie. haha The sonographer said that both are due to being in fluid all the time. Boy, I hope she's right!

My Dr. said that I am to remain on bed rest until 34 weeks, following whatever the high risk doctor tells me to do. However, at the 34 week mark, all Terbutaline and bed rest will cease, and I am to go about life normally from then on. He said, "At that point, I don't care what you do and we won't be alarmed if you deliver." This kind of contradicted one of his earlier statements saying that he wanted the baby to stay in the whole time! Oh well! Kinsey is 4 lbs 1 oz and in the 75% on size. Both the sonographer and my OB mentioned this and said, "This is no small baby!!!" Oh great! Maybe I do want her delivered a tad early!!!!!! Geesh! I can't imagine delivering a 9-10 pounder... no way!!!

I will continue to meet with my regular OB weekly and my high risk doctor every two weeks for now. Is the countdown on? I don't know exactly, but for a short-term goal, we are holding out for the 34 week mark. Tanner is doing very well through this considering the circumstances. He is with a different person practically every day, but doesn't seem to have any stranger anxiety and they really aren't strangers anyway. He is just a well-rounded, well-adjusted litle guy!

Nesting phase--horizontal mode

Let me just say that the urge to get things done has definitely hit. I am pretty sure that I have entered the famous "nesting phase," yet I can't do much about it and still take good care of little Kinsey. Luckily, some things are getting done though:

• Grammie Elliott and Aunt Sonja bought a double stroller, which had been on my list of things needed.


• Grandpa Don reinforced and fixed up an old family wardrobe that belonged to Grammie's mother. Plus, he added to bars for hanging baby clothes. Grammie plans to paint it white to match the crib bedding. This is very handy as I may need to continue to leave my clothing in the big closet in the nursery since the master bedroom closet is Tobin's.


• Aunt Tricia is painting some wooden letters to hang above Kinsey's crib.


• Aunt Melody is letting us borrow her convertible crib which has a changing table and three drawers for clothing or diapers or whatever.


• We purchased a portable phone jack that will allow us to move the computer into a room that doesn't have a phone jack installed. This technology is just amazing to me!


• Tobin recently installed a kitty cat door so the cats can move outside (along with their litter box mess), thus getting them out of the room that will be Kinsey's.


• We were blessed enough to have a plumber come to our house and fix two problems in the kitchen, identify another (need new water heater), and narrow down the issue with two other appliances (ice maker and washing machine) all for FREE! Turns out that he knows Tobin and shops where he works, solely to visit with him; therefore, he said he wanted to help us out and not charge us! How cool is that?!

So, my list of to-do things is getting shorter. Plus, I know she'll be in our bedroom for awhile. I keep trying to remember that. Thanks to all of these wonderfully helpful and generous people! If I knew how to digitally scrapbook, I'd be set. Instead, getting her first-year scrapbook done and then boxing up my scrapbook table and supplies is high on my list of things hanging over my head. I also need to figure out a window treatment for her nursery.

I'm bummed that I cannot have a normal baby shower for her. I had registered for specific girly items the day before they put me on bed rest. My sisters and friends had planned a really neat outdoor/indoor shower at a local tea room/orchard. But, my doctors won't release me to both ride there AND sit for that long. Kinsey will have to get lots of Tanner hand-me-downs, and a lot of our baby boy items will just have to be used again, like the high chair, car seats, toys, Pack n Play, Bumbo, Boppy, blankets....She will have her own baby girl nursery though and her own baby girl diaper bag! All pink camouflage! I didn't order all of the pieces because it was indeed overkill, but bid and won on 9 items on eBay. Oh well, it suits our family and hopefully she will like it.

One week down...hopefully several to go!

We've passed the 30-week mark now! This last week was the longest so far, and definitely the most painful. A couple of weeks ago, I wished for more free time...well, I learned to be careful for what I wish. I now have more free time than I know what to do with, but no way to really be productive with it! I really wanted to have time to make Kinsey's scrapbook, move the computer out of her room, and decorate her nursery. Now, I have willingly agreed to be horizontal, jittery, have a racing heart rate, pain in my hips and back, and sporadic boredom, all in order to keep our baby girl inside longer. I am losing weight though...since I can't get to the fridge, I am not ingesting as many calories!! Plus, not as much fluid retention and swelling.

This past week has been busy in one way: scheduling friends and family that have been so willing and helpful in donating their time and effort with our son. My aunt, my mom, or my mother-in-law were here at 5:30 am just in case Tanner woke up early. Tobin had to be at work at 6am, so someone needed to be here in case he was hungry or needed a diaper change. Then, someone either delivered him to Amy's (wonderful babysitter and friend), stayed with him here at our house, or delivered him to one of our friends for the day. I cannot thank these people enough and Tobin and I both realize how truly blessed we are for our family and friends. We also see that Tanner is very adaptable and well-rounded as he is just rolling with the punches and smiling all along the way!

Today was my high risk doctor appointment and cervical measurement. It started off with a dreaded blood draw since my urine sample came back showing high sugars. Joy, joy...I just abhor needles and seeing my own blood. Turns out that Blueberry Morning cereal should not be eaten on the morning of any testing at the doctor's office. Then, the lovely cervical measurements. Tobin was with me, so he got to see Kinsey on the ultrasound too. I had not felt her normal activity for the last six hours, so I was a little concerned. She was fine and all fluids looked great though.

The sonographer took awhile to take her measurements, which of course concerned me. Evidently, she was perplexed and surprised at the measurements she was getting. If you've been keeping up, over the last three weeks my cervix has thinned or decreased from 3.3, to 2.7, to 1.8. I just prepared myself for another nosedive and had actually packed a bag in preparation for hospital admittance. Remember, she had told me that it would continue to decrease and once I got to zero, I'd deliver soon. Well, the measurements she was getting were ranging from 2.7-3.0!!! She took many pics to prove it to the doctor and made me stay dressed in a sheet until the doctor arrived. I was ecstatic, but still wanted the final word from my doctor. When she finally showed up, she kept saying, "Look at that cervix!!" LOL! She said that she never mentioned this as a possibility since it is so rare! She thought I was doing so wonderfully that she didn't need to see me back for two weeks as opposed to my recent weekly trips. Bed rest has really done wonders for my swelling and cervical thinning, so she left me on it, but a few things have lightened up: I can shower daily (yipee!), get out of bed to make my own food and eat at the table, limited car rides, and if need be, I can lift my son up for snuggles!! WhooooHooo! I am still to remain horizontal most of the time, but a few more freedoms. The goal is still 32 weeks, but obviously any time beyond that is preferable. She also said that Kinsey is probably just barely over four pounds now! YAY!

I must give the glory to God on this news. I know that the prayers of my family and friends are making a BIG difference. I couldn't have done this without Him and the enormous help from family and friends!

BED REST?

Tobin dropped Tanner off at Miss Amy's Thursday morning for a playdate from 8-3pm. We had decided to take Tanner two days per week to not only give me time to work on the nursery, scrapbook, relax, or develop lesson plans for my sub this Fall, but to also allow him to maintain his relationship with his babysitter and her son, his little buddy John Brady.

My high-risk Dr. appointment was for 9am. It was the regularly scheduled, weekly cervical measurement. Since I had a big drop the week before, I was anxious to see if things had leveled off. Within minutes, they had a measurement of 1.8, down from 2.7 cm. They measured again hoping for better and got a 2.0. I was immediately put on a fetal monitor to see if I was heading into labor or having contractions. The monitor measured 5 contractions, spaced 6 minutes apart, none of which I felt. From that point on, I was wheeled to Labor and Delivery and admitted into the hospital. I was so very scared for our baby girl and sure didn't want her to be born at 29 weeks. I was given a shot of Terbutaline (a bronchodilator for asthma) to try to relax the cervix and slow things down. Within minutes, it made my heart race and it felt like I was going to have a heart attack! This lasted about 30 minutes, with my mom and Tobin at my side. I am happy to say that the shot worked and there was only one contraction within the next monitored hour. They released me to doctor-ordered bed rest. This was a shock as they had been against bed rest prior to this second drop in cervical tissue.

Now, by bed rest, I don't mean lounging and hangin' out. Especially when I have a ton of stuff to do before she gets here!! I mean:

• Only on one side or the other, cannot lie on my back, no propping up or sitting
• No standing, unless it is to go to the bathroom, Dr's Office, or hospital.
• I can stand to quickly shower every other day.
• No riding in a car unless it to the hospital or Dr.'s Office.

The idea is for NO PRESSURE to be on the cervix and no weight, or the help of gravity, putting any pressure on the cervix. My hips and pelvis are already hating this bed rest thing, and just rolling over is a painful process because her head is right on my cervix, but not yet "engaged." Typing on my side, with my head lifted up hurts my neck, but at least it is something to do!! I am sooooo very thankful to my aunt for securing this laptop as I was going out of my skull with boredom.

I am already effaced 75% and have dilated to a 1-2 cm. I could stay at a 1-2 for a month, so it all depends on the thinning of the cervix. Both of my doctors have personally called me at home themselves and checked on things. I think that is cool. My fibronectin protein test was positive, showing that my cervix is probably releasing the protein that codes for the body to head into labor; therefore, my OB prescribed the Terbutaline in pill form to be taken every 4-6 hours. This is to keep the uterus relaxed and ward off any contractions. It is too late for a cerclage to stitch me up and keep her in there. My high risk doc would like to see her make it to 34 weeks gestation, but would settle for 32, especially since I had the two steroid shots to help her lung development. So, the short-term goal is three weeks and the longer I can lie here doing next to nothing, 24/7, the better. By the way, her name is Kinsey.

Now begins the tedious scheduling of friends and family that can help out with Tanner. I cannot even hold, play with, feed, or lift my son. Someone has to be here at 5:30 am in case he wakes up early, since Tobin has to be at work at 6am. He shouldn't use his vacation days until she is really here, or until she comes home. It is horrible to ask people to do this, but many have volunteered and I am thankful for all of them. It's actually a stressful thing to not be in control, for me, and be at the mercy of other's schedules and willingness. So far, so good, and Tanner is having a ball playing with his grandmas, Amanda, and Aunt GeGe!

The rest is all in God's Hands!

But, I'm only at 28 weeks?

WOW...I was surprised....yet not, but immediately emotional nonetheless. I went to my normal high-risk doctor appointment yesterday. To start off with the good news, my heart rate was excellent the doctor said, "If we could all have 98/64, we'd be in great shape!"

THEN, the ultrasound tech took much longer to do the cervical measurement than usual, but clueless me just thought she couldn't find what she was looking for or was simply going slow as she was training a newbie. Apparently she was just checking and rechecking, making sure that what she was seeing was actually true, before she broke the news. I'm quite certain that once the doctor veered away from her notes and started concentrating on the monitor screen, my heart rate was no longer 98/64.

Due to my history, and delivery of Tanner seven weeks early, my cervix has been measured several times via ultrasound for the last few months, just to make sure there are no changes. It has been a steady measurement of 3.3 cm until yesterday. Only God knows why, and He's not talking...but, within the last two weeks, it has decreased to a 2.7 cm!!! BIG DROP!!! When she told me what was going on, I immediately had to fight back the tears and concentrate in order to absorb what she was saying. Her words kept running through my head : "When the cervix gets to a zero, you will deliver your baby. I need to alert your OB."

Now that I have started this process, there is no turning back. All I know is that it can level out for awhile, but will continue to decrease. My cervix is still closed and that's a very good thing. But, before I could leave her office, the perinatologist insisted that I have a steroid shot in my hip to expedite the development of my baby's lungs. She said there were no drawbacks, and only 100% benefit to taking the shots; they had been giving them for 35 years. She said it would hurt like the dickens, and burn the whole time it went in, but my baby needed it so that her lungs would develop faster than normal in case of early delivery. I also had to return 24 hours later for another shot in the other hip. This was all to prevent her from being on a ventilator or C-PAP, if and when we are in the NICU again. She assuredly told me that baby girls are far more developed than boys at the same age, even in utero, so this is in her favor. Her odds are very good. They expect me to make it through June, but wouldn't commit to July, nor August. My due date isn't until August 27th. I know that it is a blessing that I am being watched so carefully, otherwise we wouldn't have a clue that I have already started to efface. I have to go back next week for another check and we'll go from there. She gave me several strict instructions about what I CAN and CANNOT do. The baby has already turned, so if I feel pressure like a bowling ball "down there," I am to go straight to Labor and Delivery. No matter what, an impending pre-term delivery is again upon us.

Here is my prayer: That God will not put her through more than she can handle, as He says in His Word. I pray that she can stay inside as long as possible to prevent any life-threatening battles. I also pray that God gives my family strength throughout whatever is to come.