"Two-Man Job"

Well, I'd have to say that stimulating the rectum with a thermometer seems to do the trick. Not immediately, but let's just say that yesterday was an interesting day from about 3 o'clock and on. If you gross out easily, this is not a blog post for you. Maybe I shouldn't even be posting it, but I want to remember this stuff someday and look back on it with a smile. Here's the story:

Tobin came home just in time for the action. As stated in my yesterday's post, the nurse hadn't returned my call, but it didn't really matter because the constipation problem seemed to be diminishing. Tanner had a "BM" about 3pm that was for the record books! It happened on Tobin's lap, while he was feeding him, but we didn't think much of it. As I started to change the diaper, I knew we were in trouble! I called to Tobin to help hold his little feet back and as soon as he arrived on the scene, all he could say was, "Oh my God" over and over and over. It literally looked like you had dipped our son's bum in liquid peanut butter. As I started to clean him up, Tobin was trying not to vomit. I got to laughing (at Tobin) somewhat and then the fun really began! While Tob was trying to keep his cool (and his cookies) and hold Tanner's feet back, Tanner decided to pee straight at Tobin!!! I could hardly stand up and do my job as I was laughing so hard. Tobin jumped backwards and tried to still keep ahold of Tanner's feet, but was yelling some colorful language at this point. Poor Tanner had pee on his chest and face and I was on my 6th wipe still trying to get it all mopped up and off his hiney! Tobin wanted the diaper out of his sight, so I was trying to fold it up and stick it in the Diaper Genie, and just as I turned around I knocked over Tobin's drink and spilled it on the rug. It was the craziest 15 minutes of chaos!

Around 5:30, we took Tanner to Grammie and Gumpa's for his regular Monday evening visit0. He didn't sleep much while there and continued to be fussy. I guess that the poop earlier that afternoon didn't do the trick on curing his fussiness . We got home around 10pm and Tobin was again feeding him a bottle. I was checking my email when I heard, "Honey! Hurry and get in here; I need your help!!!" I went running into the living room where Tanner's Pack 'n' Play is located, and Tobin was in the midst of round 2 of the melted peanut butter! Tobin was freaking out and muttering something about apple butter, and couldn't control his shock at the amount of stool Mr. Tanner had treated us with yet again. So, I immediately grabbed the container of wipes...EMPTY!!! UGH! I ran toward the nursery to get a refill for the container and started wiping him up. Once I got Tanner cleaned up (5 wipes), we decided that he needed a bath. This went over well; Tanner was worn out and so were his parents! However, the fun didn't end there. Tanner was all cozy clean and in his new pajamas, enjoying the remainder of his bedtime bottle in Daddy's arms, when Tobin hollered to me that he had somehow spilled breast milk all over Tanner's pajamas!!! WHAT?! You've got to be kidding me! I guess the collar was loose and Tanner was now in need of a new outfit. Of course, this riled him all up as he hates to have his outfit changed. So, there I was...running around half-dressed, trying to get another outfit, warm up more milk, and clean up the mess. The entire evening was a "two-man" job, Tobin said! Finally, all of those problems were solved and Tanner was almost asleep on Tobin's chest when Tobin decided to sneeze and then get tickled about it. Good grief! It was 12:10 am by the time we all 3 got to sleep. Tobin commented that he had no idea what would have happened or what would have gotten dirty had he been here by himself last night.
Tuesday morning update: Tanner slept for 4 hours straight for the first time ever! He was a very good boy over night and Tobin even took the 7am feeding and let me sleep in until 10am!

Tummy troubles

Here is the perfect shot of the ornery guy himself. I have been exhausted just about every morning lately because Tanner hasn't been sleeping well over night. He crashes during the day and takes a couple really good naps. I guess I would say that he has his days and nights mixed up. Either that or he just likes to be up and loves to watch TV between 2 and 4am! He will literally crank his neck around to see the television. So, Tobin and Tanner watched the Carol Burnett Show two nights ago!

Sidenote: It is possible that I saw a smile that wasn't in response to gas, but more in response to my voice fluctuation. I am going to wait until I see it again before I write it in his baby book.

This could be related; I'll never know, but I called the doctor's office because he hasn't had a bowel movement since last Thursday when he received his vaccinations. I have tried giving him 1/4 tsp Karo syrup in his milk(old remedy), bicycling his legs, massaging his tummy, taking him off the rice cereal, giving him a warm bath...nothing has worked and he is in obvious constipation pain. So, they told me to lube up a thermometer and stick it in his hiney. I thought, oh great, just lovely. He'll love that! Tobin wasn't even home, so I had to go that job all by myself! Even if he had been, he would say that was a "mommy job." He likes to pull that card ever so often..."he needs his mommy for this or that." Well, the cold probe in the hiney hasn't worked either. I am currently waiting for the nurse to call back. She did say that breast milk is so perfect and chemically balanced for what they need, that his little body may be using all of it and he has nothing to excrete! Therefore, he wouldn't be constipated at all. That would be OK, but it wouldn't explain his turning red, straining, smelly toots, and general fussiness. Even though he sends me over the edge and out of my mind in the middle of the night, I still want to snuggle with him and love on him once he calms down. I have been practicing the 5 S's of "The Happiest Baby on the Block" and they are helping. It is amazing how that anger/loss of control/frustrated feeling can just go away for a little while when you have a sweet baby in your arms.

Here is Tanner is his big boy car seat right before he shot me the peace sign! LOL!

Stroller rides for fussy baby

I was a colic baby, but gas was cheap back then. Mom could put me in my car seat and drive until I fell asleep. These days, with gas around the $3.80 mark, that isn't an option. Luckily, I have discovered that a stroller ride is a good alternative. However, the temperature and the bugs have kept me from it until now. Tanner has been pretty fussy due to his vaccinations, so I got to a point where I would try anything to put a stop to the crying! You can actually see his little yellow band-aids in the first picture. Anyway, I had found an inexpensive, yet good quality mosquito net that forms around the car seat which fits into the stroller! I searched for one online until I found a price I could handle. I really didn't want him to get bitten, so I hadn't taken him outside much yet. This particular one has elastic and no window. I am not sure Tanner can see really well through it, but he probably wouldn't be able to see that far at his age anyway. Plus, he goes to sleep for the ride and that is my goal, so for now, it doesn't really matter if he enjoys the scenery! It has been good for both of us to get out of the house and get some fresh air!
The days are getting busier as I try to fit in all kinds of fun before school starts again. Tomorrow morning is Emily's baby shower and tomorrow night is dinner with Robin and her family. Today was the 3rd Friday in a row that my aunt and cousin-in-law have had lunch together, too. It has become a tradition that I look forward to since we all have a good time! We have a trend of eating at quaint little tea rooms and today was no different. Amanda is expecting in February, so 90% of the conversation is centered around pregnancy or child-rearing. That is fine by me because I have learned a ton lately and I'm happy to explain what has worked/not worked for me.

Doctor appointments

Even though Tanner will always be considered a preemie, he sure has made up for lost time! He is now 10 pounds 9 ounces and 21.5 inches long! He is becoming quite the adorable lil' chunky monkey! He even has chubby thighs and a double chin! Thinking back to the NICU days, I would have never been able to picture it! I wanted to include a picture of him in his Bumbo! SO CUTE

Speaking of his little thighs...they got poked three times today at his 8-week appointment. I was scared to watch it, but Tobin convinced me that it was important that I stay in there, and be there for Tanner. He had 6 vaccines total with one being oral. He was vaccinated against diphtheria, pertussis, tetanus, polio, rotavirus, hepatitis B, Streptococcus pneumoniae, and Haemophilus influenzae. Poor lil' guy turned beat red and started with a silent cry that that went frantic in a split second. He screamed for about 30 seconds, about as hard as I'd ever seen. It was obvious that he was pretty ticked off! I was able to allow him to grip my pointer finger on each side while I shhh'd him in his ear. But, as soon as she was done, I scooped him up and snuggled him very close to console him. He was fine in about one minute, but then I had to put him down to put his clothes back on and that scared him all over again. Once in the truck and on the road, he slept for a good while, but has had some pain off and on accompanied by quite a bit of crying today. The vaccines and the Tylenol are helping him sleep more than usual, so I imagine I will be up all night! Grandma Henderson stopped by after work to snuggle him as he was still pretty fussy late afternoon. All I have to say is thank goodness that is over, at least for a couple months!

When Tanner was 2 days old, he had an EKG that discovered a heart murmur. There was a hole that allowed oxygenated blood to circulate back to the lungs before it went to the rest of the body. Every baby is born with this, but the passageway between the two major blood vessels normally closes within a few hours after birth. If it doesn't, some blood that should have gone through the aorta and on to nourish the body goes back to the lungs. Failure to close is quite common in preemies. I am happy to say that Tanner was also cleared of any need for a cardiologist during his appointment yesterday, as the passageway has closed up and is no longer detectable via EKG nor ultrasound! Needless to say, he has had a rough two days of tests and needles!

So, in closing, I am including a picture of baby Tanner in his big boy bathtub! He has grown out of the little pink one from the NICU and seems to enjoy stretching out in the larger tub. As you can see, he IS a big boy indeed these days. I definitely notice the extra weight when holding him! He is getting heavier and heavier and changing everyday! I always thought it was cliche, but I can already see truth in the phrase, "They grow up so fast!"

Sleepless in Springfield

This picture shows one of the first times that I felt like he was truly looking at me right in the eyes. I just love it!

Well, this has been a fairly sleepless week. I have simply GOT to get Tanner on a schedule where he understands that we sleep at NIGHT and not all day long! I understand that babies sleep a lot, but he really is the most active at night, WIDE AWAKE from 10-midnight and 2-4am! It has come to my realization that I go back to work in three weeks and this simply will NOT work. I cannot deal with over 150 middle school kids on 3 hours of sleep! I won't enjoy it and they sure as heck won't enjoy me! haha This year is going to be a real challenge for other reasons too. Instead of arriving at school around 7:45 am, I am going to have to get both of us ready and drop him off by 7am!!! I will have to be at my door by 7:15 for supervision and hall duty because school will begin at 7:35 this year. They are changing our bus schedules for a variety of reasons, but I think my building starts the earliest! It will be a really be a challenge to make sure that I have all of Tanner's daycare things, and my school stuff, and get ready and out the door by 7am! There is quite the checklist of things to take when I leave the house with Tanner! I am always afraid that I have left something vitally important in the house. Also, I am not a morning person and not especially known for my punctuality.

Last night was kind of a date night for Tobin and me! Tanner spent 5 hours at Grammie and Gumpa's house and Tobin and I went shopping and to Hemingway's for an all-you-can-eat crab leg food bar! I was quite surprised at how tired I got just walking around the mall. I just don't have the stamina that I used to. Could be my lack of sleep combined with my now out-of-shape body! We did have to cut the night short so I could get back home before my boobs exploded. By the way, for those of you "in the know," I am now making purple milk again. Vicious cycle, but Tanner has no symptoms. I'll leave it at that.

Tanner and I have been busy going to lunches with friends and family all week. He has had quality time with both sets of grandparents this week as well. This coming week is getting packed with Dr. visits (cardiologist appt and 8 week checkup)and more luncheons with friends, co-workers, and family that want some more Tanner-Time before we head back to work/daycare.

Tanner has had a few "firsts" here lately:

• He has easily been able to turn his head from left to right, and not get it stuck facing down during tummy-time.
• Since he can now sit in upright positions for extended periods of time, he has been getting used to the swing, vibrating seat, and the car seat.
• He is now big enough to wear bibs while he drinks his milk and has built up to about 110 mL, which is almost 4 oz per feeding! My favorite lactation consultant weighed him this week and he was 9 lbs 14 oz, so that is HUGE!!! He does feel very heavy to me these days since he has more than doubled his NICU weight! He literally has creases in his arms and legs because he now has some fat rolls!
• He is making eye contact and following the movements of people/things and seeming more interested in the world around him. He has enjoyed the carrier, as seen in the pics, a few times with both mommy and daddy. Sidenote: Daddy will have to learn to put a shirt on or keep complaining that lil' Tanner pulls his chest hair out. :( lol
• He is sleeping from anywhere to 1.5 hours - 4 hours at a time. The 4-hour time periods are almost always during the day though. I finally learned to heat up my rice/corn bag in the microwave and move it around in his bassinet to warm up his blankets. The transfer from my arms to his bed goes much more smoothly - most of the time.
• He has to have his hair washed everyday because he has oily hair, but the nurse said that is way better than a dry head and cradle cap.

He makes some funny faces, like the one in his vibrating seat above. He's getting some poochy cheeks!!! Well, he is finally asleep here next to me, so I had better get some things done. Hope everyone has had an enjoyable weekend!

Goodbye Car Bed!

I say this with mixed emotions, but Tanner passed his car seat test today! Dr. Rising (a doctor that my sister and I both visited when were were babies) had me take in his upright car seat and he had to prove that he could stay above 90% oxygen for 90 minutes!!! YES, for an hour and a half, we just had to sit in the doctor's office! Luckily, Tanner got to take a nap. He only dropped below 90% when he was trying to fill his britches. They would come hurrying in there only to find him beat red and grunting! HAHA So, that was excused. He did get so mad while trying to go potty that his HR got up over 200bpm! GEEZ! Overall, he passed with flying colors, the nurse said. Now, this is good and bad for me. In the car bed, he is horizontal and I can turn around and see him at any time, plus, I feel that it is easier for him to sleep. With the car seat, he is obviously upright, but rear-facing! I won't be able to see him! That will likely drive me crazy. They suggest that I DO NOT use a mirror of any kind as they can be dangerous flying objects during a wreck. Hmm.... Another negative is that the car seat seems to be quite heavy for me and very cumbersome! I guess I will be building muscles in the arm area now!

MOMNESIA~

Anyone else experience this? The basic premise is that new moms (and dads) are subject to “mental fuzziness and memory lapses that set in shortly after childbirth“. The primary causes are stress and sleep deprivation. No, really, it’s true.

For instance, I will pack up what seems to be the whole house for an outing, and remember everything except the all-important bottle nipple, rendering the bottled breast milk useless. Or, I'll hop in the car for an important trip to Target only to get there and forget what was so important! At the end of the day, I also tend to forget if I have given Tanner his vitamins in one of his bottles, or was that yesterday? Did I send that thank you note or call that person back? Did I put down the garage door or lock the front door?


Also, did anyone else's hair color change? Look how dark mine appears here!

Well, Tanner is growing like crazy and eating likewise. I don't know his exact weight since I haven't been to the lactation clinic in awhile. He has taken to nursing much better lately; however, I do not feel that he gets full that way since he falls asleep so easily. Maybe I don't have the patience to keep waking him up. I think one feeding could last over an hour at that rate. So, I make sure he nurses enough to get some nourishment and the general experience, in case we were ever in a situation where that was the only way to feed him. But I always top him off with a bottle of breastmilk. I am still pumping about 6x per day and I average about 12 ounces, so that is 3 "Tanner meals" right now and I'm building up the stockpile in the freezer once again.

Tobin and I enjoyed a sushi-evening out with friends, Dewayne and Angie, and my mom and Dave this past Saturday night. Then, one of my best friend's from HS came over on Sunday, and brought sushi for lunch, and stayed for over 7 hours! That was AWESOME! Last night, Tobin had band practice (he is the drummer), so I went over to his parents with Tanner. I fully intended on gong shopping and then to the fitness center. However, once I got somewhat horizontal on the couch, all I could think about was going to sleep. So, that is exactly what happened. Grammie and Gumpa had some Tanner time and I went back to their bedrom for a couple of hour-long catnaps!

Great Day!

Yesterday was a great day! My friend Robin brought her new baby, Maddie, over to the house for a nice visit! Then, my aunt Gege and Amanda called and invited us to go to Sunshine Valley Farms to buy some awesome (very large and sweet) blueberries and grab some lunch at their tearoom. Wonderful idea, great conversation and company, and beautiful scenery! It is always quite the ordeal to get everything ready to leave the house, including pumping one last time, but this time it was well worth it! It just feels fantastic to be out and about with people you care about and not be cooped up in the house! Tanner was great and that sure helps. He basically slept in GeGe or Amanda's arms and didn't fuss much at all!

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. ~Sophia Loren

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. ~Leo J. Burke

Postpartum visit

Since things got pretty crazy during and after Tanner's birth, I never got a pic of my wonderful doctor with my new baby boy. Luckily, he was happy to oblige at the appt. this past Wednesday. Ironically, my postpartum visit was ON Tanner's due date. After a pretty thorough evaluation, both physically and via Q&A, I was released to resume normal activities. I have lost 20 lbs and have 12 to go to get to pre-pregnancy weight, but would like to lose an additional 5-10. I still have some pain around the episiotomy stitch, but that's normal, he said. He did the typical pap and will determine, upon results, if I must continue with paps every 3 months, as I have for the last two years due to the precancerous cell findings. Which by the way, I don't think I ever pointed this out on my blog, but I feel that is related to why I delivered so early. Beginning in 2004, precancerous cells were found on my cervix. They were biopsied and removed on two different occasions by LEEP procedures. The LEEPs literally remove a layer of cells by burning them off. I honestly feel that my cervix was compromised just enough to weaken it. This caused my water to break with the right amount of pressure and weight at the wrong angle. We will never know, and my doctor won't verify this for sure, but I feel it in my heart. The on-call doctor brought this to my attention while observing me in Labor and Delivery and it really makes sense to me. I combine this information with the fact that a pretzel-shaped knot was observed in the umbilical cord upon delivery. It was VERY loose, but had Tanner remained in the womb and continued to grow, that knot would have tightened. From what I understand, ultimately, that could have been a VERY serious problem if not during delivery, then simply by oxygen or nutrition deprivation. God definitely had a plan with Tanner's early arrival!

Things have been exactly what you would expect around here. I get about 2-3 hours sleep between night-time feedings and there is always one feeding where he refuses to go right back to sleep when finished. So, that turns out to be a 2 hour ordeal in the middle of the night. (notice the time stamp on this post) I just turn on the TV or catch up on my email or blog reading.

I've started getting Tanner out and about more. The only difference with me and most new moms is that I don't have a car seat to carry him around in. Since he failed that little test, I carry him in a sling rider. He typically goes right to sleep since he is all curled up and in fetal position right next to my body. That works and I am hands-free! I do get a lot of, "Oh my gosh, is there a baby in there?" Or, "Wow, he's so small!" That one is always a trip for me because I see him every day and he seems HUGE to me relative to where he was while in the NICU.
I guess I'll head back to bed, but wanted to include a seriously cute pic, at least in my book. I apologize, in advance, for yet another hairy-chest-Tobin-pic, but that is just how it's gonna be as long as it's summer in Missouri! Daddy had dressed Tanner and rolled up his sleeves, which I thought was funny. He was watching TV in his normal "guy" position and had Tanner propped up next to him. He called to me to come check out Tanner, so I grabbed my camera and ran in there. Even down to the arm and leg positions, like father, like son!!

"What's wrong buddy?"

I feel like I say this many times per day! As if I expect an answer. That would be nice, because the guessing game is NO fun! How do you know they have colic? Maybe he's just plain ole' fussy? I especially like it when daddy plays with him at bedtime and gets him all riled up. Then he puts him in the bassinet next to me, turns out the light, and then daddy goes to sleep with no problem. This would be the situation I dealt with last night. I snuck back to the bedroom and I was 90% asleep about 10:30pm, just barely aware of my surroundings, when a wide-eyed little boy was placed right next to me and wouldn't keep his binkie in his mouth, yet wanted it there for some reason! SO, that game lasted about 45 minutes. Then, it was a trial feeding at the breast, which put him to sleep, or so I thought. Long story short, we both got to sleep about 2am, only to wake up again around 4am for a feeding and breast pumping. Back to sleep about 5am and awakened again around 6:30 to a hungry lil' man. UGGGHHHH! I gave him to daddy about that time, and said "you're on your own," and went back to bed by myself. I slept for about 4 hours uninterrupted, only to wake up to two throbbing bowling balls on my chest. Sorry, that's probably too much information! But, I could hardly move without pain, so I had to get up and pump. Come to find out, daddy had tried everything under the sun to appease Tanner, other than vacuum and drive around the block. He had fed him, changed him, sang to him, rocked him, put him in the vibrating seat, put him in the swing, put him in the boppy inside the pack and play, kangaroo care, walking outside....The best part of that whole story is finding my sweet baby all dressed up by his daddy! He had not been able to wear this outfit yet because it is size newborn and he was in all preemie clothes. Maybe I'm a little biased, but isn't he just adorable!?

I have my post-partum dr. appt tomorrow. Ironically, tomorrow is Tanner's due date. I have no idea what time my appt is, so I will need to call early in the morning. Yes, Melody, I need to use a calendar....I know, I know....I should really do that because now it isn't just my schedule to keep track of, it is Tanner's too!

Getting better

Well, the Genetian violet treatment is finished and Tanner did not turn purple! My breasts did, but that's wearing off and now it just looks like I am severely bruised. I also think we are both yeast infection-free! He is still a little fussy, but not nearly as bad as he was. His doctor mentioned that I should cut out dairy if at all possible. I really only have milk with cereal and yogurt, oh yea...ice cream, but I guess I will limit that because infants have trouble processing cow's milk. Makes sense. That might have been part of the fussiness problem, but we'll never know. He gets really red when he goes poo and fights and appears to be in pain. I mentioned this to his doctor and he has now been put on rice cereal!!!!! CRAZY! He isn't even full-term yet and most babies are 4 months old when they receive rice cereal, but it is a very small amount. He gets 2 teaspoons twice a day. My mom and sister wisely advised that I split that up and test his little tummy with it, so he received 1/4 tsp, then 1/2 tsp and so on...I haven't noticed him sleeping any longer, but we'll see.

Tanner has made great strides in breastfeeding!! He actually stayed latched on for 30minutes or so several times in the last few days. As a transition, I am using a breast shield to simulate the plastic bottle. He actually prefers it and turns his head if it isn't there. Eventually that will be removed, but I plan to give him some time to get comfortable with this new source of nutrition! I still have to supplement each feeding with a bottle for several reasons: he doesn't seem completely satiated and I don't know how much he ingested, plus he supposed to get his vitamins (0.8 mL daily) and Enfacare(1/4 tsp per 45 mL every feeding.) I hear him swallowing and he seems content. He doesn't fall right to sleep like he used to. They say that was a preemie thing and since he isn't preemie anymore, I am hoping things continue to improve!


Being a Type A personality, I really want to make a list of all the things I have gotten done while he naps, but I won't. I need the sense of accomplishment and seeing those things get marked off the list does something for me! haha Just getting to eat cereal before he needs me again is sometimes I real hurdle to cross! I am not going to say that I was naive about how much work it is to have a baby, but there have been frustrating times, maddening times when I totally lost my cool, and times when I just wanted to walk out the door, seriously. My sister lovingly said that will get better so I am banking on that. Thank God these trying, sleepless times are during the summer months because I really don't know how working moms do it during the school year.

I want to mention that I am going to make this blog into a book, so I like to try to include any and all details that I will want to reflect upon someday! In fact, when I am typing, I am thinking about how it will read years from now, rather than how you are reading it today. I know several of my students read this and are probably learning WAY more about me than they care to know. So, in case you ever read a detail here or there that didn't suit you, just know that some of the detail I put on this blog is actually for me and my family to read many years down the road.

Breastfeeding News

Lactation Update: On Monday, my OB doc (Cox) said that I looked fine and he didn't see any reason to continue any meds for yeast. Tanner seemed to be clear, so why put my organs through any more medication? Later on Monday, I went to my LC, who is St. Johns, and she said I still had signs of yeast and that would be transferred to Tanner during breastfeeding. The yeast infection of the nipple/breast has caused the shooting pains and burning sensation. Tobin went to this consultation and learned quite a bit about getting Tanner to latch, not to mention just seeing what I am going through. Anyway, she suggested a 5th treatment called Gentian violet. Let me just tell you, this stuff is messy and it stains anything it touches. I have a much more "colorful" story concerning this stuff, but let's just leave it as saying that it is working because the pain is slowly decreasing, but I am not breastfeeding during the application of it like I'm supposed to. Poor lil' Tanner's face would be all purple and stained and I just can't bear to do it. He is still on the Diflucan, so that will have to do, hopefully. I just pray that we are both on the mend because this is getting CRAZY!!

On a lighter note, Tobin took us on a picnic prior to the LC appt! Both TJs fell asleep, which made for a very sweet moment and photo opportunity!