Still Improving!

Some of you that receive emails probably already read the following information, but I know that there are readers of this blog that would like to hear from Holly. So, once again, I'm including a portion of her latest Tanner update.

"Tanner is doing much, much better and has made HUGE leaps and bounds in his situation. Thank you to everyone that has kept my family in your thoughts and prayers. They have worked miracles in his little life and body. For being born 7 weeks early, he is doing remarkably well now. He is no longer on the vent, CPAP machine, umbilical artery catheter, nor does he have the oxygen sensor on his foot. He still has issues with jaundice, but he is only under one blue light for phototherapy, as opposed to the three that he was on just yesterday. His bilirubin score is down to 8, from 17, and their goal is 5 before he can leave. He also has to be able to regulate his temp, but hasn't mastered that yet. There is still an arm board on his forearm with an IV in it and we expect that to come off within the next 48-72 hours. He has a small tube taped to his face for feedings that leads directly to his stomach. He is up to 25 mL of breast milk per feeding, and feedings are every 2.5 hours. I have fed him directly with a bottle, one time he took it down like a champ, but the next time, he kept spitting it up. Sooo, the tube taped to his face remains. He was in my arms for a little over 2 hours today! He is very peaceful when he is there and I love that. He also got some "kangaroo time" which is skin-to-skin time at the breast. He was like a little bird and seemed to know just what to do, but probably didn't get much nourishment there yet. Overall, he has just been such a little fighter and is doing sooo well for 6 days old and 7 weeks early! They are still thinking about 2 weeks, but I don't know if that means from birth last Friday, or from yesterday when she told me that.

I am doing well now, emotionally. Well, better now that he has less and less wires and hookups. They are difficult to deal with when you just want to hold your baby and have to keep everything on the correct side and not pull anything out of it's proper place. STRESS!
Physically, I am still having pain in my back, either from the pushing during delivery, or from the breast pumping. That occurs every 2.5 hours and once in the middle of the night. I get 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep at bedtime. I won't go into the pain from the breast pump, but suffice it to say that is excruciatingly painful as well, but it is what Tanner needs most right now.

Tobin is staying strong, for the most part, but we have both had our emotional breakdowns. It has been a LONG 6 days. He drives me back and forth to the hospital whenever I want and that means a lot. Plus, we take the colostrum, and now milk, over there for Tanner.
He is taking his naps when he feels tired, but I haven't seemed to get that done. Always something to do....I need to though because I can't afford to get sick about the time Tanner comes home."

Your prayers are working! Little Tanner continues to improve each day!

More great news!

Since you've heard so much from me, I thought it might be nice to hear something from Holly. Holly is wanting to post an entry herself, but is so unsure where to begin. I'm sure once things settle down, she'll take back over. I know several of you are dying to here from her! This is a portion of the email Holly sent to me today. I'm also including some photos taken in the NICU today. Holly & Tobin had a big day! They are beginning to get the opportunity to enjoy some of these parental duties and they are loving every minute of it.

From Holly:

"I got to give Tanner his first bath today and wash his hair! Then, I got to hold him for 30 minutes and he was the most peaceful I had ever seen! Tobin got to hold him for about 20 minutes while I pumped. He was moved into a plastic "isolette" that is actually a step up, even though it looks more invasive. He is breathing normal oxygen and got to get rid of his oxygen monitor on his foot. He is keeping his breast milk down and received 5 feedings through a syringe overnight. His neonatologist would like to increase the mLs. He is still at 4 lbs 9 oz, but that should improve with time. His jaundice levels (bilirubin) are now down to 11, from 17, and their goal is 5. He is only on one blue light now rather than three. He needs to be able to regulate his own body temp, but needs a warmer for now."

Holly got to feed Tanner through a bottle today. She said that he took right to this and sucked it dry quickly!

This is a shot of Tanner getting his phototherapy. He has to wear goggles to protect his eyes.
Holly's sister,Melody, caught this great grin on camera. I love those toothless grins.
Holly said that this was the first time she's really been able to hold Tanner close and smell him. The picture says it all. I had to save the best for last!

Little fighter.

I called Holly's home phone this afternoon, planning to get her answering machine so that I wouldn't bother her. She just happened to be home, so I got to talk to her for a few minutes. She had sent me some incredible pics of Tanner. They brought tears to my eyes when I saw them. To see Holly holding Tanner was incredible. I couldn't believe how little he looked compared to the previously posted picture. I decided to post a few of those pics...I hope that's okay Holly. Several people thought Tanner looked just fine b/c he looked so big in the other photo. You can definitely tell in these photos just how small he is.

Holly texted me tonight with more good news. Doctors had been really concerned with Tanner's high bilirubin levels. They were considered very high and if they got up to around 30, it could cause mental retardation. Luckily, Tanner's levels were down to a 14 tonight. They need to be at 7, so keep praying! Holly said they added 2 more blue lights to try and get him where he needs to be.

Making progress.

Holly emailed me this morning and gave me a few more details to post. She is home now, but making 3-5 trips per day to the hospital. She's attempted to blog herself several times, but is just too emotional right now. So, you all are stuck with me for a little longer! :)

Holly described the following details as "proof of prayer":

Tanner is off of the ventilator and CPAP machine for right now.
He is keeping his oxygen/carbon dioxide levels stable.
He's had several colostrum feedings through a syringe (Holly got to give him 5 mL last night!)
He opened his puffy little eyes. He looks bigger here than he really is due to fluid retention.

While Tanner is making progress, he's still hooked up to several wires and monitors. He has an IV for fluids, an umbilical catheter, and a tube to his stomach. He's now acquired jaundice (the doctors warned Holly & Tobin to expect this). He is being treated for the bilirubin levels with a blue light called photo therapy. He's down to 4 lbs. 9 oz., but they are hoping he will gain weight now that he is getting breast milk.

Holly and Tobin were both able to hold Tanner last night for 5 minutes each. She said that this was "unexplainable, but the most precious thing EVER!" Tanner definitely has a temper and declared that being moved around was highly irritating. He likes to sleep with his bum in the air and his knees bent beneath him. Holly said that "he is proving to be the fighter that we wanted!"

News on Tanner

I spoke with Holly this morning and she asked me to give a few more details about little Tanner. He is definitely still needing prayers. At this point, they've determined that he has Respiratory Distress Syndrome. He's on a ventilator and CPAP machine off and on because he is having to fight so hard for oxygen. Holly explained it like this...When you blow up a balloon, that first blow of air into the balloon is the hardest b/c it doesn't have any air in it yet. Well, that first blow is what Tanner is experiencing every time he breathes. The doctors have said that he will take a turn for the worse before he begins to get better. They are all very optimistic though. Tanner has someone assigned specifically to him in the NICU, so he's getting the best quality care.

Holly's still not been able to hold Tanner at all. She feels so badly for not being able to comfort him. They've got him on Phenobarbital right now to act as a sedative. Tanner is so bothered by all the tubes and machines that he is hooked up to that he is getting really mad, which is making him fight harder for oxygen. Holly said his lungs don't even have the capacity to make a cry right now. He just turns red faced and opens his mouth really wide. It's like a silent scream. Holly tried to comfort him last night by rubbing his arm, but was informed by the nurses that she was irritating Tanner and to not do that. Tanner isn't used to that sensation. Holly is only allowed to touch him and press down on him since that is the sensation he would be getting in the womb.

So, it's going to be a rough road ahead. Holly and Tobin will leave the hospital tonight. I can't even imagine how hard it will be to leave without their baby. Please continue to pray for all of them. Holly is unsure of when Tanner will get to come home. At first she was told he would stay until his due date. Someone else told her it will all depend on how he is doing. Now that Holly is coming home, I'm sure she'll be the one to pick up with the updates.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and concerns. I know Holly and Tobin are very appreciative.

Tanner Jay Elliott

At this point, this is all I know:

Tanner Jay Elliott has arrived. He weighed 5 lb, 2 oz. & has brown curly hair.

I know that's not a lot of info., but I knew you all would want to know that he's here.

Here he comes!

I just heard from Holly (11:00 a.m.) She is dilated to a 7 and just had her epidural. She is some woman...she called me herself to tell me that. There was no way I could have done that in the middle of labor! Tobin filled me in on the rest of the details. She started having contractions about 30-45 minutes apart around 7:30 this morning. So, she's done a lot of work in just a few short hours. Tobin said they are expecting him within the hour or so.

Keep saying those prayers! They all really need them right now and for the weeks to come! I'll be sure to update again when I get the final word.

Prayers needed.

Hi, this is Holly's friend, Kodi. I just got off the phone with Holly and she asked that I post a quick update for her.

Holly's water broke this evening. She is 50% effaced and almost dilated to a 1. She says that the monitor is showing that she is having contractions, but she can't feel them. She has been told that whether she delivers the baby tonight, tomorrow, or 7 weeks from now (her original due date) she'll be in the hospital until little Tanner arrives. The labor will happen when her body feels it is time...the doctors aren't planning to induce. Holly's a little scared, but the doctors have reassured her that everything is looking great and should be fine. Since she is past 32 weeks, the doctors aren't acting concerned at all.

If Tanner arrives early, he will be in NICU. They aren't sure at this point if he would be able to breathe on his own or not. All of those details will have to be figured out depending on when Holly goes into labor.

I'm sure that I'll keep updating here for Holly, so keep checking back for more news! But most of all, please pray that Holly and Tanner are kept safe and healthy.

Feeling the pain...

I know I have 8 weeks to go, but this is getting more than uncomfortable. I must be a pansy, I guess. I immediately head to the couch when I get home from school, and Tobin caught me in position this past Wednesday! My large cat, 'Nilla, usually joins me. My feet feel bruised on the bottom, but not any worse on the swelling issue. My back is starting to hurt, which I'm thankful that hadn't happened prior to now. Sometimes, if I have been sitting or lying down for more than 15 minutes, I have to get up VERY slowly and walk all hunched over to get where I need to go. My belly is all tight and crampy and my pubic bone kills me. The doctor said it is being stretched apart. YIKES! I notice that I am moving more slowly overall, too. My principal even teasingly said that I definitely have the pregnant lady waddle! Nice. I am feeling the emotion of "crunch time" and need to get going on signing Tobin and I up for a tour of the special delivery unit and maybe a birthing-type (breathing) class. I have had two people suggest that I take a yoga class for relaxation techniques. I'm sure that is a great idea....not sure where or how to go about that. I also need to think about how to pack my hospital bag. Mom and I are going shopping, on Sunday, for some related items like a hospital nursing gown. It will be a birthday gift for me. My birthday is this coming Monday (19th) and Tobin's is Thursday (22nd)!

This past week was my last baby shower. I had mentioned it on previous posts, but hadn't posted any pics for my family and friends to see. A special thanks to Kodi for taking pics, and Gail for filming at the shower! Tobin and I were totally overwhelmed by the gifts we received considering that the faculty, as a whole, purchased us one BIG gift. It was a very nice shower with lots of school -related friends that Tobin hadn't met yet. We received the swing/bouncer that we had registered for and we LOVE it! We already put it together, which took about an hour, and it resides in the living room with the pack 'n' play. There is absolutely no more room in the house for any large baby items. The nursery is packed out as well. Those comments are blessings, not complaints!

Tobin has been sick for the past two days and I have had to get up twice in the night to check on him (he sleeps in the nursery), get him Tylenol, and take his temperature. We think the fever broke last night. He has been very achey and tired. This is not like him at all. I have only known him to be sick twice in the last 4-5 years. So, overall, I get up about 6 times per night. I think this has just been part of God's way of getting me ready to take care of Tanner in the night soon.

We plan to do our Memorial Day decorating tomorrow and some visiting of family in the nursing home. Graduation is tomorrow night, so hopefully I have some energy remaining....have a great weekend!

Happy Mother's Day!

A newborn's conversation with God

A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?" God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."
"The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy." God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."
Again the child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?" God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'"

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?" God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."
''Who will protect me?" God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.''

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore." God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name." God said, "You will simply call her, "Mom."

LiveWire on PB-X!

CAUTION: My blog-friend, Jenni, calls this Pregnant Belly Exposed = PB-X. I love that!

It took me awhile, but I got a decent video of Tanner kicking and rough-housing around. Most of the action is on the right side of my belly...I think it must be his feet because they said he was already head-in-position. Tobin's mom, Brenda, recently told me that Tobin never walked anywhere as a child. He RAN everywhere he wanted to go, indoors and outdoors. However, he was always a happy and content child. (BTW, I forgot to mute the television)

Getting organized!

I may have overdone it today because my body is feeling it. I came home from Target, the mall, and the grocery store and took a 3 hour nap! Mother's Day shopping, baby returns, and healthy snack food were goals for the day. All was accomplished, but my feet and back did NOT enjoy the process. I got a little side-tracked in Motherhood, at the mall, but I did manage to find a good nursing bra and some cropped jeans for the final stretch. Plus, the young girl that worked there gave me ALL sorts of advice on what to wear and take to the hospital.

Well, I am in "full speed ahead" mode concerning the organization of Tanner's nursery! I don't know what has come over me, but it is quite the obsessive compulsive ordeal! I've spent hours online trying to find the best closet organizer that is of good quality, yet functional enough to give me more storage and make good use of space. I also wanted something that he could use as he gets older. He will have two full-length shelves in his closet, but both are packed and he isn't even here yet. So, my search continued...until I landed on the http://www.onestepahead.com/ website. They had a great system that had really good reviews. It is made very well and I can add pieces to it as I can afford it. I like how the straps that hold the lower bar are adjustable, so when his clothes get longer, I can lower the bar!

Recent happenings

This past Saturday, while Tobin planted our window boxes and containers, I went to a Baby Extravaganza type deal and learned how to use my double breast pump on loan from Melody. In this pic, the lady is using a balloon to show the suction and setup. Interesting, huh? haha I hope and pray, for Tanner's sake, that I can handle that part of the adventure!

Tobin did a wonderful job with our flowers this past weekend. He also bought me a new Japanese Maple tree for the corner of our house. It matches the brick and the new roof very well. I wish the new roof had shown up better in the picture, but for some reason, it looks quite bizarre!

Yesterday was my last baby shower at school. It was a wonderful time and Tobin and I were very blessed with many gifts. Pics coming soon.

Pregnancy update: Things are getting more and more uncomfortable...sleeping is difficult, nausea has returned, my feet hurt to walk on, my ankles are very puffy, and Tanner's kicks are starting to incorporate a level of pain.

Last ultrasound

Today was my second and last ultrasound. My doctor appts are now going to be every 2 weeks for the next 2-3 visits, then weekly for the last month. During the ultrasound, all measurements were wonderful (even mine, he said) and he showed a week ahead of schedule which is still within the normal margin or error. This doesn't mean that he will come a week early at all; however, that would be lovely. He was extremely active, as I knew he would be, and kept looking all around! It was difficult to get a great view of him due to this, even on 3D. His hands were near his face most of the time, but we did get to see that he is definitely a boy! His lungs are not developed yet, but we saw the division between the abdomen and the diaphragm. He also has HUGE feet, so hopefully he will be tall! He sure inherits those genetics on his dad's side (Tob=6'3" and his bro=6'4"). The ultrasound tech seemed convinced that he has the profile and characteristics of Tobin, so we shall see.
My second and last baby shower is tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it! It will be at school with all of my teacher friends and co-workers! Tobin is going to attend this one as many of my friends at school have never met him. He is a little nervous as to his role at a baby shower, but I'm sure he'll do fine!
I think I may have experienced what is called Braxton-Hicks contractions last night. They hurt quite badly for about 10 seconds and had me doubled over. I mean I seriously could NOT stand up straight. I got a 3 minute break and then another round lasting about 10 seconds. Nothing since then.

Tobin has dinner ready, so more later!

Update--Week 30!!

Well, I feel sick and my eyes are itchy. My nose keeps running and I presume it is allergies. Sounds like allergies, right? Although, I didn't know I had allergies!!!! A friend told me that as you get older, your body sometimes decides that is isn't going to deal with certain things anymore and thus, the immune system changes. Therefore, it is possible to develop allergies later in life! It is only 7:30, but I plan to be in bed by 8pm. Storms are supposed to hit tonight, so maybe I can get some sleep before that occurs.

On Tuesday morning, I asked Tobin to take a pic of our roof so we had a "before" shot. He said not to worry as they hadn't even delivered the shingles that we picked out. Well, by 4:00, he had already texted me saying that the new roof was on and it looked great! WOW!!! It only took them about 5 hours, but considering the fact that there were about 15 men on the roof, I guess that is all it takes! Tobin spent the afternoon replacing some rotten facia boards so that the new seamless guttering can be placed on the front of the house.

Tanner has been kicking the crap out of my sides. He has got to be turning somersaults in there! Last night, at dinner, it actually hurt pretty badly as he turned around in there. That was the first time I can actually say it involved a level of pain and not just a weird feeling that got my attention. I am wondering if he will be up all hours of the night. He wakes up every time I get up to go to the bathroom. He then pokes and jabs as I try to fall back to sleep! Speaking of that, off to bed now....Enjoy your Friday tomorrow!