Hunter meets his new baby cousin

Tanner has 3 cousins and two on the way, but he finally got to meet one of them yesterday. It was pretty cute because Hunter had several things on his agenda while he was at our house. He wanted to meet and hold Tanner, play with Babs and Bailey, and play XBox with Uncle Tobin. We decided to let him feed Tanner and he enjoyed every minute of it! However, once finished, he immediately wanted to go outside to play with the dogs. The funny thing was, time with the dogs was fairly short-lived and he was back inside asking to hold Tanner again!! We let him, and then he played XBox with Uncle Tobin. Tobin beat him, so he requested to hold Tanner again! It was pretty dang cute to see an 'almost-6-year-old' say about Tanner, "He's precious and I like him." haha

Amanda is coming over to watch Tanner while I go to my Dr. appt. I sure hope they can give me some advice as to why I continue to have shooting pains and throbbing sensations after I use the breast pump or try to feed Tanner. Tanner and I also have an appt this afternoon. We are going to try another breastfeeding class to see if we can get him any closer to preferring the breast rather than the bottle. The idea of breastfeeding is getting difficult. He isn't ready to take to it and it kind of frustrates me. I don't like the feeling of rejection, but I know the milk comes out of the bottle soooo much easier. I have to say, the only reason I keep doing this is because I know how important that bond is and how special it will be to feel the closeness. Not to mention the convenience of not having to wash so many dang bottle, nipples, collars, pump parts....He is still getting the immunity and antibodies, but it is wearing on me.

VERY depressing, but necessary

Well, the pic on the left is all that is left of me pumping 8x per day since Tanner was born. Tobin had to pitch all of the milk that I had pumped for the last 2 weeks, which is seen in the pic on the right. Basically a freezer full of milk! I just couldn't do it. I gave Tobin the dates of when Tanner might have passed the infection to me and asked Tob to throw it out. I couldn't watch. Tanner's pediatrician called today and said that we need to make sure that I do not give him infected milk, meaning that Tanner had given me the infection and we could just keep passing it back and forth. Right now, he is symptom-free, but I am not. I know that is what is best for Tanner, so it is what MUST be done, but it is sickening at the same time. I set my alarm 2-3 times per night and pumped 5-6 times every day....UGGGGGGGGHHHHH! Dang thrush!

Today was a nice day other than that! My cousin's wife, Amanda, and my aunt Ginny came over and fed Tanner while I showered. We all four went to Panera Bread, with Tanner in the sling rider, and then ran a few errands. It was SOOOO nice to get out and do something! Not to mention simply having adult interaction. So, thank you guys for hanging out with me and getting me out of the house!

I am going to bed, but wanted to close with a cute pic. Since Tanner basically sleeps 22 hours of the day, he doesn't provide me with a lot of entertainment throughout the day. I have to get creative. Don't get me wrong, I love watching and smelling and snuggling on him, but when he sleeps, I like to leave him alone as much as possible. Therefore, he is in several photo shoots without his knowledge....

Developmental Bath

There is a BIG difference between Tanner taking bath with a towel wrapped around him and taking a bath stark naked. I guess it is a preemie thing, but as you can see, he is loving his little soak in the suds! He was totally copacetic, like he was in his own lil' hot tub just chillin' out and kickin' back! SO CUTE!

We met with the LC again today and I can tell that this is going to be a process. He did so well on Tuesday, but wouldn't latch very long on for a feeding today. He hadn't slept well all day and totally crashed as I drove to our appt. He didn't even wake up with closing car doors and me getting him out of his carbed and carrying him into the Support Center. So, as you can imagine, he was in no mood to learn something new once he was awakened. Plus, his thrush came back recently, and that hurts his mouth, especially when he has to suck harder on the breast than he would a bottle. I can see why he wants the easy way to a full belly. His LC is 100% confident that he will catch on soon, but definitely by his "term" date. He still isn't supposed to be here for another 14 days or so. She said that the light just seems to come on for lots of things when a preemie reaches their term date. I sure hope so because I want him to have the best experience and nourishment as possible.

Daily life with a Tanner-led schedule

Tanner Jay was one month old on Monday! It doesn't seem like it though. He came home on June 12th, so he seems like about 2 weeks old to me! I think I kind of block out the hospital time and NICU visits. One month does seem like such a long time and he has been through so much!!

We have evolved into a Tanner-led schedule. I don't set my alarm anymore; I just wait for him to wake me with his cute little grunts and infant cries. It isn't a normal baby crying sound, rather more like a baby calf or deranged cat! His last feeding is usually in the 11 o'clock hour, so he wakes me during the 3 and 6 o'clock hours. I will need to back that up the closer we get to August and school beginning again.

Yesterday I met with a wonderful lactation consultant (LC). I spent 2.5 hours with her and she was able to teach me and overwhelm me with all sorts of knowledge. I can honestly say that anyone who thinks that nursing is just a breeze is either very naive or very lucky with the experience. There is a myriad of tips, tricks, and even rules that must occur to get the baby to latch on correctly, get enough nourishment, and not hurt mommy in the process! Now that Tanner has been fed via bottle for a month, he is use to getting is milk at a certain speed. The breast isn't quite that fast and he has to suck harder to get what he needs. Therefore, we are training him to prefer the breast over the bottle. Luckily, not too much time had passed and this particular LC was able to get him to take 50 mLs, or almost 2 ozs. He is up to 7 lbs 1 ounce, by the way! Wooohooo! Such a BIG GUY!

As for Tobin and I, we are learning how to get along in the midst of stress and chaos. It isn't always pretty, but no lasting harsh words are spoken! Tobin has managed to play golf, go floating twice, and get out of the house on a regular basis, on top of working. I can't say that I've done anything remotely like that, unless you count my prolonged grocery shopping trip last night, but I do have a reflexology appointment tonight and that should prove to be wonderful. Thanks for the birthday gift mom! My feet are still killing me and my right foot hurts just about as badly as it did while pregnant.

The black and white pic is the view of Tanner from the shower! I wheel his bassinet into the bathroom so I can keep an eye on him while I get cleaned up for the day! It is a little cramped, and I guess it is the "new mom" thing, but I just can't leave him in another room, where I can't hear him, while I shower! They have really scared me with the SIDS thing! Plus, Tanner has been congested and it serves as a BIG humidifier! You can see that Twister, my 17 lb. cat, is keeping an eye on him while hanging out in the sink!

Small miracles~

I know there are several friends reading this blog that are "expecting," so I thought I would pass along some things that have worked for me.

Thank God for these two products! My sister had used gripe water with her sons. Then, I used it on my nephews while babysitting and began to sing it's praises! I knew it worked wonders, but I recently used it on Tanner and it took away his hiccups almost immediately! It also calms him when he works himself into a tizzy! http://www.colichelp.com/what-is-gripe-water.html This website will give you a little more info about this all-natural, herbal supplement. I think I will start giving it at baby showers!!

Another product that has had great benefits around the Elliott household is the sound therapy machine. Tanner likes constant noise. I don't know if that is a baby thing, or just common for babies that have spent time in the noisy NICU. Whichever is the case, this machine has 8 options for background noise. He likes the "running water" noise and will wake up if it should stop, which it did the first night home... batteries died. I quickly realized to use the AC adaptor and just plug the silly thing in. I like this idea because I don't have to tip-toe around the house. He is more comfortable WITH noise, so I am able to vacuum, talk at a normal decibel, leave the TV on....

Off to feed, change diaper, pump, wash dishes, and nap. Same ole, same ole routine. At least I get to snuggle a tiny little baby in between! Although, he may not be so tiny anymore. He is still supposed to be in me for 3 more weeks, but he is now up to almost 7 pounds and feels heavy to us!!!

Settling In

Well, I think the pets are getting used to Tanner and his sounds. Not that they aren't curious! We always keep an eye on which pet is in the same room as Tanner. I love the pic of the dogs being introduced to Tanner. It looks like Tobin said, " OK dogs, line up and pay attention!" Nilla wasn't about to lose his napping spot completely! As you can see, he is still in the same spot for his nap as he was when I was pregnant with Tanner!


I am getting more used to this new sleep schedule. Sometimes I try to stretch it out when Tanner starts to stir in the night. I find myself leaning over into the bassinet and trying the binkie routine, every 3-4 minutes, up to 5 times in a row, when all he really wants is to eat!

There are a few other things that have been "eye opening" or noteworthy for me throughout this experience.

1. I had no idea that I would weigh more after delivery than I did before.

2. My hands are getting very dry and cracked from doing dishes (breastpump parts) 8x per day!

3. I wish I had bought stock in diapers a long time ago!

4. It is VERY important to put a washcloth over the penis before you remove the dirty diaper.

5. You won't know if your baby is eating too much until they puke. Dr's orders: "Feed them until they puke. Take note of how much they threw up and subtract that from the total mLs at the next feeding." hmm...OK? Makes sense.

1st pediatrician appt

Tanner-Man was a very good sport about his first doctor visit. Unfortunately, he threw one fit and that is when I took the picture. He DID NOT like to be unclothed in the doctor's office. I guess it was the temperature difference because his doctor was very gentle with him. I had never met his doctor, but I like him so far. He was very willing to answer all of my questions and I even had a written list of things I wanted to go over. He commented that he was glad that I had written them all down. That was a good sign because I tend to annoy doctors with my never-ending questions. It is part of my educational/science background, as well as part of my general personality. Of course, I thought of many more after we left, but I called the office and they got right back with me and answered every concern! My cousin's wife, Amanda, went with me (since Tobin had to go back to work) and she was a HUGE help! So, thank you Amanda for being there for me and Tanner yesterday!

Tanner has to have two follow up appts: one with a cardiologist to make sure the little murmur is gone or at least that it hasn't grown anymore, and one to have him re-evaluated with a car seat test. Both in mid-late July. His new stats are as follows:

19 inches long

6 lbs and 4 oz

belly button completely healed

use saline drops for congestion

the thrush is back-use Nystatin again

So, I have to write all of this down to keep it straight....feed him 8 times per day, pump 8 times per day (not always near the same time), give him the Nystatin 4 times per day orally and on his bum, vitamins once/day, and add EnfaCare to every bottle for extra calories. They want him at 22 calories per oz of breastmilk. Normal breastmilk only has 18-20 cal/oz.

We are settling in to somewhat of a routine, I guess you could call it. It is more of a "get used to Tanner's schedule that can change at any time" type deal. At first, I set my double alarm for every three hours, which is how often he fed in the NICU. However, we soon found that he might be asleep at that time, or just not hungry yet. So, do you re-set the alarm, and if so, for when? He has also graduated from a slow nipple on the bottle to a medium one. He was compressing the slow-speed nipple flat, wearing himself out, and not getting much milk on top of that.

We have had several visitors and even had dinner brought to us last night. Thank you Mary D. and family! That helped immensely since we have spent a small fortune eating out while driving back and forth the to hospital for 3 weeks. Our BBQ grill died and I don't seem to have time to fix much more than a sandwich here and there.

Overall, we are adjusting to having our little man here at home. I just love to hold him and watch him sleep. He makes the cutest little faces and smells so wonderful! I was scared of the pain involved in bringing him into this world, but everyone was right. It was a pain easily forgotten and I can't imagine life without him!

Oh Happy Day!

Typical Day: (some feedings are done by his nurse, most by us except 11:30pm-5:30am)

6:30 am alarm goes off
6:45 shower
7:00 pump
7:15 get ready to go to hospital
8:00 drive to Cox South hospital
8:30 feed Tanner (ALMOST ALWAYS GO TO THIS VISIT)
9:30 pump
11:30 feed Tanner (USUALLY)
12:30pm pump
2:30 feed Tanner (SOMETIMES)
4:00 pump
5:30 feed Tanner (USUALLY)
7:00 pump
8:30 feed Tanner (WE ALWAYS GO TO THIS VISIT)
11:00 pump
11:30 feed Tanner
12:00 go to bed
2:30am feed Tanner
3:00am pump

If you notice, there are very short time frames for sleep! Tobin is good at taking naps; I am NOT. I know I need to, but there are many things to be done: clean the attachments to the pump, eat, laundry, clean the house, organize, get things ready for next visit to the hospital....
ANYWAY....SOME OF THAT CHANGED YESTERDAY!!!!!!

Around 1pm, we got the call that Tanner was doing well enough to leave the NICU. We scrambled around and took off for the hospital. I was so excited and so nervous---all at the same time! Not scared that I couldn't take care of him, just nervous that I would miss one of his cues or not be able to read something he needed. I was still giddy with anticipation! We had paperwork to fill out and a meeting with his nurse. Then, I spoke with the neonatologist for 30 minutes over the phone about caring for Tanner while Tobin gathered all of Tanner's stuff. We got his carbed ready and him all strapped in and the nurse walked us down to the truck. Tobin had already taken a load of stuff to the truck and had it waiting in the outpatient parking area. He was all ready with the video camera (Thanks again, Kodi!) and we loaded up our son! I rode in the back and Tanner slept through his first road trip! Tobin was pretty calm, cool, and collected. He didn't fit the stereotype of the nervous father driving slowly and yelling at other crazy drivers. We filmed getting Tanner out of the truck and walking into his new home. Unfortunately, we forgot to take pictures. He went straight to his crib for a quick snooze and then it was time to eat, poop, and sleep some more!

We are getting acclimated to having him here and it is absolutely WONDERFUL! The schedule has gotten a little off track, but we are LOVING not having to drive back and forth!! The overnight shift was quite crazy and we didn't sleep more than 3 hours collectively. Tobin took the 2:30am feeding since I already had breastmilk bottles ready to go in the fridge. There were some frustrating times trying to figure out what "those sounds" meant and Tobin got a little irritated with me for turning on the flashlight to peer into the bassinet a few too many times. He sure makes a lot of racket in there! We also have a sound therapy machine (noise maker) that transitions him from the noisy NICU to our house. The batteries decided to go out on the first night home, so I had to get up and find the plug-in adaptor! Tanner definitely slept better when it was working!

Laundry is piling up like crazy and we have gone through an amazing amount of diapers for only having him home for less than 24 hours. This is the new life that we prayed for (and waited for) and we LOVE it!!!!!!!! Time for bed!

Not quite ready for a big boy carseat!

Well, we can say that Tanner passed his 1st test: his hearing test. But, he failed his carseat test today. That's OK; his little neck just isn't strong enough. They said he had sat in it for 30 minutes just fine, but then his oxygen monitor went off and got below 87. It never got back above 87. They would have failed him even if it just dipped below and then recovered, but the fact that it never even recovered confirmed the fact even more so. He just isn't ready to sit upright without his neck getting in a position where he can't get enough oxygen. After all, he is only at 36 weeks gestation and isn't supposed to be here yet. Therefore, he will likely leave the hospital in a carbed, unless they decide to retest him. It is longer and will be centered in the backseat, so it is good that we don't have another child in a seat back there! TWO good things: he will be on his back and we can see him from the front seats. With the carseat, you can't even see them since they are rear-facing. Also, we won't have to worry about the bobble-head thing and wrapping towels to keep his head in position. I was worried about that anyway! By the time he gets out of the carbed (which is up to his pediatrician), he can use the Snuzzler for head positioning.
Tanner's circumcision area looks much better and his cord has completely fallen off. His weight hadn't changed last night and was still at 5 lbs/8 oz. Tonight, he was up to 5 lbs/11 oz. So, that is great!!!! Also, at the 5:30 feeding, he downed 55 mLs without having to take a break or his nurse trying to get the bottle back in his mouth after burping! NO "iron-mouth!"
He did the same thing for me at 8:30! Plus, Tobin ran out and asked for more breastmilk and they sent back a second bottle with 15 mLs in it. Tanner took 8 of that for a grand total of 63 mLs! These are good signs that he is closer to coming home! We'll see how he does over night and in the morning. Tobin and I will both go to the 8:30 am feeding and see if the Doc has assessed him yet. They usually do the more critical babies first and he is now considered a "feeder-grower," which are usually assessed later in the day.

Tanner was a lot of fun tonight! He was wide-eyed throughout his entire feeding, just looking around. Afterwards, Tobin had him lying on his chest, with Tanner on his belly, and he was happy as could be. He was even "talking" and making little sounds with smiles. So precious!!

News on our little man

Kodi took this picture and I absolutely love it! Thanks Kodi!!!

Mr. Tanner is a peeing and poopin' machine! I suppose that's normal. He frequently has "pee-outs," but I've yet to be pee'd on! I'm sure my day is coming. Tobin has yet to change a diaper. I have confidence that he can, since he's watched me change many, but he grosses out just about everytime.
"SICK!" or "Oh Lordy!" or "Why does he keep doing that?" or "Oh gross!!!"

One time, I had to change 4 diapers withing 2 minutes...just as I would pull out the dirty one, he would dirty up the new one underneath!

Tanner had his milk increased to 45 mL, so it has been a bigger challenge to get all of it down him before he falls asleep. I can do it 90% of the time, but he has to be able to take all of it, 'round the clock, before he can come home. I slept in this a.m., and my mom visited him for the 8:30 feeding. She got all 45 mL in him and then he started on more! That is great!!! I hope he can keep that up!

His circumcision was at 11:30 yesterday. I went to the back room of the NICU to pump, and Tobin stayed in the waiting room and watched the hunting channel. They wouldn't let us go in there..fine by me!! EXCEPT, I heard Tanner crying from my room and it just broke my heart. I couldn't go out there and hold him or console him and couldn't plug my ears! He never cries and it was short burst of solid crying for about one minute. I know that doesn't sound like very long, but it seemed like an eternity. Then, silence...which was just as scary, and then it started up again. They told me that he didn't cry much comparatively. His area is all purple and red and swollen now and he absolutely hates to have his diaper changed. Not sure if he associates that trauma with it or if it is just scary and cold. It took longer than usual because the Doctor was showing a resident how to do it step-by-step. I'll be glad when it is all healed for sure!

I still haven't decided if he will sleep in the bassinet in our bedroom, or his crib in the nursery. Tobin could sleep in the nursery with him and bring him to me in the night, or I could sleep in the nursery. There are many options, so I guess we'll play that by ear, so to speak. Being that I can hardly leave him at the hospital every visit, it is highly possible that I won't want to be separated from my lil' guy at bedtime!! I have already washed all bedding and outfits in Dreft, so I'm ready for him to be HOME!!!

Another great pic thanks to Kodi!!!

Getting closer!!

GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!!
He is probably coming home within the week, but they haven't given me a set time. The circumcision is tomorrow and we had to take in his carseat for a test sometime soon. The goal was for Tanner to take all 40mL of his breastmilk (8 feedings with a 24 hour period) via bottle and have none of it gavaged through the little tube on his face. He did all 6 throughout the day yesterday, but had to have two gavaged over night. I got the full 40 in him at 8:30 this morning and again at 2:30. I think I was there for the 11:30 too, but I can't remember...they all blur together in my mind...Sometimes it takes a TON of persistance because he loses energy and falls asleep on the job! Then, he clams up and purses his lips and I can't get the bottle in there no matter how hard I try! We call it "iron mouth" thanks to Melody. Koen did the same thing when he was a preemie. Preemies' tongues stick to the roof of their mouth, so you have to be sure that it is down before you go shoving a bottle in their mouth. I tried telling him that this is the only way he gets to come home, but he was too sleepy to listen! I REALLY want him home, but I sure don't want him to come home before he is ready! He is getting such good care there!!!!

My way of thanking everyone---

Dear Heavenly Father,

I can never thank you enough for putting people in my life that have been so supportive and kind. Thank you so much for my family, friends, coworkers, students, and people that I don't even know that have prayed for my sweet baby boy. I praise you for allowing us to conceive this baby and I ask your forgiveness for ever doubting your plan for why he was born so early. I now know that it was the best thing for him due to the pretzel-shaped knot in his umbilical cord. Thank you, Jesus, for not allwing that to tighten and for allowing us to meet him early. Lord, I ask that you please bless the lives of my family, friends, coworkers, students, and anyone that has offered up a prayer for Tanner. Bless their families and watch over them. I know Tanner's progress is completely in Your Hands and I am so thankful that you have blessed Tobin and I with him. Please continue to help him improve and make him healthy and strong. I love you Lord and thank you for being my Savior, teacher, counselor, and friend through out this whole experience. Amen.


Well, being postpartum is quite the emotional rollercoaster, but I think I can see through some tears well enough to update my blog now. Kodi~I can never thank you enough for being such a great friend and keeping everyone "in the know" on Tanner and his experience in the NICU. That was truly a relief for me not to feel obligated even though I wanted everyone to know what was going on. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

Tanner got his 2nd developmental bath today and he seemed to enjoy that. He is up to 5 lbs now. He has not proven that he can take his whole feeding of 40 mL, so the gavage tube will stay taped to his face and leading down to the stomach through the nose. He sucks on the tiny little bottle really well and then tires out! The gavage tube is the only way to get the remainder down so he gets the nourishment. He is also temp-regulating and has done well with the incubator warmer turned off. He has a short-sleeved onsie AND a long-sleeved gown on, plus two blankets, socks, and a hat! He did get to move to an open crib today and that looks so much less invasive. He will stay on the heart monitor as long as he is in the NICU because that is their policy for all babies.

I met with a lactation consultant yesterday and that went very well. She showed me a totally different way to hold him while he nurses. It is a football hold where he is mostly under my arm and around the side of my body. He took 14 mL directly from the tap yesterday! LOL!!! They know how much because they weighed him before and after he breastfed!!! haha It turns out that my lactation consultant goes to my church! He did pee all over her outfit while she changed his diaper! She was very kind about it and said that her clothing was washable. :)

The neonatologist looked over him today and was pleased with his progress. She even said that he is a little bit ahead of what she might expect for his gestational age, but he is acting mostly like what a 33 weeker should act like. She did feel that he is developing "thrush" and it has made his lil' bum very red and there is white stuff (yeast) in his mouth. I have mentioned it repeatedly over the last few visits, but the nurses would wipe it out and call it milk mouth. Now, it is the beginning stage of thrush, so he will be treated with an anti-fungal and so will I since he is breastfeeding some. I am told that this is all normal and expected.

THANKS again for keeping up with my family and for all of the loving comments. I'm sorry that I haven't replied to many of them, but please know that I have read and been blessed by all of them. You guys have been wonderfully supportive and it has truly touched our hearts.

I am going to include some recent pics of our little man. :0)

His nurse, Gretchen